What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide For Women

Are you ready to make a change?

2007-09-21T07:10:00.000-04:00

Good Morning. For those of you who know me, know that I am living in a beautiful new house in CT and have a beautiful newborn baby boy. You may also know that I follow “The Secret” philosophy. Recently I have been practicing the philosophy more frequently as I truly believe in it’s power to attract positive things into my life through positive thought.

I was reading a magazine article yesterday and the editor was writing about how she felt September was like the new year for her. Everything begins to change. Schedules, children are back in school, the leaves begin to fall and there is a chill in the air (if you live in the Northeast).
This morning I was in my back yard feeling grateful for all that I have and I noticed all the leaves in my yard were beginning to change. I thought about how I could implement this into my life. Many of you know that when you have children (I have 4) that things always seem to be changing. Sometimes quicker than we would like but, nonetheless, they change. How can I make some small changes in my life to create the reality that I would like.

I decided to wake up earlier and get myself all prepared before my kids wake up. This brings a peaceful feeling and I am not frazzled when I roll out of bed with them yelling that they want breakfast. I set the pace for the day for everyone in my house. I know that when we wake up in the morning and something negative happens, i.e. being late, everything goes bananas. My children are then shoved out the door and sent off to school with their head spinning.

My intention for you today is to look out around you and notice the changes that are beginning to take place. Are you living in the reality that you desire? If not, what can you do to make a small change that will impact you and possibly everyone around you. As I’ve said in the past, positive thought and feeling is contagious. Once you begin thinking and behaving in a positive space, everyone around you will follow suit. And, according to “The Secret”, the universe will not put you in the same space with someone who is not feeling the way you do.

Have a great day!

Now What??????

2007-08-21T07:27:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone. So I was sitting here the other morning thinking about the last 9 months. All of the hibernating, sitting, waiting......now what? Every new mother and seasoned mother's know that after the baby comes, their first thought is, "I want to get back in shape." Or, "I want to become the woman I was before all this."

Then I started running through all of the diet scenarios in my head. I stumbled upon this new diet that I decided to start last Friday and already lost 4 pounds. So easy....I mean so easy!!! So now I am just waiting for that glorious school bus to arrive and I can take Billy the kid for long walks in my new neighborhood. Who's got it better than me? My kids, but I'll save that blog for another day.

Anyway, I was just wondering how many of you truly love yourselves. I sometimes find that when I surround myself with people who are very blase about health and all that good stuff, I become blase myself. I start to just say to myself, "Don't worry about those extra 40 pounds, they'll come off!" As if some mirculouse fat burning cloud is going to suddenly surround me and melt all the pounds away. Not!!!!!! (A little flashback from the 90's)

Now, most of you know how I feel about self declarations and although no matter what I look like, I can still look in the mirror and say, "Hey you beautiful thing!", it doesn't mean I want to be 200 pounds and admiring my bulge in the mirror in 5 years.

So, my intention for you all today is to take an honest look at how your are living your lives via health. Are you eating away the blues or celebrating that new job, etc with a twinky or a half gallon of "fat free" ice cream. Send me a shout if you want to know how I am doing it. I would love to share my success with you all.

Peace.

The Cub's Out of the Den

2007-08-16T08:36:00.000-04:00

Hello Everyone. Well it's been a while, but I have come out of hibernation. I sat for the nine months and didn't do a thing and guess what? I have a healthy little cub. My 4th healthy little cub. Anyway, Little Billy (William Joseph) was born on July 5th and he is a cute little guy. The kids love him, a little too much, and they are all happy living in their new house. Oh, did I mention that we moved two days before the baby came. Well, we did and it was the best thing that ever happened to us.

So today I wanted to talk about hibernation. It sounds a little funny to some people, but to any woman who has been pregnant, especially the ones with more than one child, can completely understand. When I say hibernation, I mean that all of those things I was doing before I became pregnant, blogging, promoting my book, etc, I stopped. Actually, I am very lucky. I have a good husband who helps a lot, children who listen most of the time and I have the luxury of staying home with my children. So the choice was there to make. Do I continue with the stresses that I placed on myself and take the chance inadvertantly affecting the baby or do I just hibernate. I decided to hibernate.

One of the things that I did every day was stay in tune with my body. When I was tired I slept, when I was hungry I ate and when I was feeling fat and lonely, I felt fat and lonely. I allowed myself to be and feel what I was. I think that this is a gift to be able to know what you are feeling and go with it. When I try to fight how I am feeling, it lingers. When I go with the flow of the day, it disappears quickly. Remember people, energy. What you put out there is there!

So, my intention for you all today is to take a moment and tune in to your body and how you are really feeling about your life. Are you pushing yourself too much, are you doing things to fill yourself up so you don't have to look at how your life is going or what you are not feeling?

And always remember, we are in this together.

The Secret, how hard is it really?

2007-02-27T08:41:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone. It's been a while again. I am hibernating but am feeling better. I hope you are all well.

How many of you have ever heard of the book or DVD called, "The Secret?"
I was introduced to it about 6 months ago and it changed the way I look at life. Although I think that the way I look at things are different to begin with, the movie just re-affirmed how I feel and improved my outlook on things.

The whole idea is based on the Law of Attraction. What that means in the most basic of terms is that when I think of something and I put a negative spin on it or feel negatively about the thought, I emit negativity into the universe. Therefore, based on The Law of Attraction, I am inadvertantly attracting negativity.

But, and here's the best part, when I think of things and see them through positive eyes and am always grateful, very hard to do unless you practice, I attract positivity into my life.

I always end my blog with, "My intention for you today is ........" None of you know or some of you might know that when I am sending out good intentions to others, I am attracting good vibes, karma, energy, etc back to me. Is this selfish? I think not!

I and we can make a decision on a daily basis to either fuel our lives with positive energy or negative energy. It really is a choice and some of us have to work much harder than others to remain positive. I have been working on it now for about 15 years and gratitude has changed my life and I beleive given me a life beyond my wildest dreams.

My book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, incorporates a lot of the Law of Attraction. Now, I didn't know that while I was writing it, but after seeing the DVD, I realized that this was the case. I just really think that living in gratitude can change all of our lives.

Just remember, saying your grateful and acting as if you are grateful are two different things. Walk the walk people. Talk is cheap. Whenever my son or daughter say, "I'm sorry," I say back to them, "Sorry is doing the right thing." My husband started saying that to them when my son was very little and it stuck. It's sort of like a family motto. I guess the lesson there is that talking is just talking, action is actually doing the things you are apparently sorry for.

So, there you have it.

My intention for all of you today is to feel positive. Go out and get "The Secret" or you can always get my book!!!!

And always remember, we are in this together!

I would love to know what you think...............

2007-02-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. I haven't blogged in a while. Like I said in previous blogs, I am hibernating because I am pregnant with baby #4. All is well with little ?? and I am feeling more energetic lately but still seem to have to take that nap.

Anyway, the other night I spoke at a local Women's Organization about the Circle of Sisterhood, which is the first chapter in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. The talk went very well and a few women purchased the book.

The next day, I received a very interesting email from one of the women. I responded promptly, as you will read, and feel I was very diplomatic. Nonetheless, she brought up some issues that she felt necessary to voice immediately regarding Chapter #8 in the book. The title of the chapter is "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'." I am posting the email she sent, leaving her name out of course, and my response.

Please feel free to be honest regarding this blog. I have to be honest. I love the controversy and feel that it is wonderful that someone would feel so strongly about my book. Whether that feeling be positive or negative isn't the issue.

So, hold onto your bootstraps, away we gooo........

Kerri, It was a pleasure to meet you and chat with you at the Working Woman's Forum. I love your enthusiasm and sense of humor. When I got in bed I read your book. While I realize that your book represents your personal opinions. You write of a system for living that you claim works for you, which is good for you BUT, in general terms, I found your book, your philosophy and your methods for living a happy life to be seriously disturbing. There is absolutely nothing empowering about submissiveness. Perhaps a better title for your book would be "How to use sex to manipulate your husband" Basically you suggest that a good marriage exists when a man provides for his family and a woman provides him with sex on demand. This thinking is, as you suggest, simple. It is also antiquated, unenlightened and represents the lowest level of human existence. All humans have basic needs - financial, physical/sexual, intellectual, spiritual, emotional. To expect one person (your husband) to fulfill all of your needs is unreasonable - this is where having women friends can be fulfilling. I could go on and on but what I wanted to express to you most was how risky it is for women to accept the thinking that they must satisfy their husbands sexual needs in order to have a good marriage. This would be ideal if the wife, genuinely wanted to share herself with her husband in that way every time he was "in need". Women have the right to say no to anything that they do not want. You say be honest, how honest are you when you are acting out of fear of loosing your financial provider? How do you suggest women realize they have value as individuals if you believe they are only valuable as sex objects to their husbands. You say "My husband is my rock and my children are my life" - wouldn't it be more appropriate to say my husband is my sugar daddy and therefore I have a nice life with my children? While I admire the fact that you stand up and proclaim yourself in these matters, I honestly fear for the women who may suffer from a lack of self esteem who ignore your disclaimer and put your ideas with respect to being submissive to their husbands (or men in general) into action in their lives. Wrong direction, sister! I'd love to talk to you in more detail Kerri. I hope you will contact me.

Now, here it my response......

Hello,

I am very sorry that you were so negatively affected by the book. Luckily, it is my opinion and is a system that worked for me and apparently many other women who have read the book. I honestly must say that your response is not the norm and I have obviously struck a chord with my chapter on spousal relations. Did you read the rest of the book or did you just focus on that one chapter?? My book is not only about fulfilling a husbands needs. That is one chapter and I have a feeling that something is going on here that I am not aware of. I hope you will look into that.

I welcome your comments because they help me realize how wonderfully different we all are in our opinions and life choices. To refer to my husband as my "sugar daddy" is somewhat underhanded and cruel, but again, I welcome what you have to say because whenever someone puts their opinions and way of being out there in the universe, they are exposed to criticism. I guess it would be easier to sit at home and just be critical of everyone else who is trying to make a change in the world.

As for a financial provider being the sole reason why I would be happy is just plain silly and juvenile. My happiness stems from a solid marriage, meditation, friendship, etc. To take a wonderful statement about my family in the dedication and twist it into something negative and sordid is disturbing to me. But luckily we are able to voice our opinions freely and openly. Again I would suggest you look into why you were just SO disturbed by the sex chapter.

I am very financially sound and if were left alone tomorrow, would continue to live my life as I am now, being very capable of supporting myself and my children. Luckily, because I am not selfish and SHARE my life with my spouse, it is very unlikely that this will happen.

Being empowered does not mean being alone or being so self sufficient that I isolate myself from those people that matter to me most. I am very happily married to a wonderful man who does everything in his power to be a good husband. I am proud to be able to refer to my husband as my rock because marriage is about two people who work together. Not one person who makes all the decisions in the relationship and is obviously the bully. Maybe our descriptions of a "good husband" differ. Would you have felt better if I wrote that withholding sex from my husband and not fullfilling his and my needs until I "felt like it" was a better choice? Suggesting that a woman does not have the right to say "no" is ridiculous and is not found anywhere in the book. Maybe if we all paid a little more attention to what our spouses were feeling, there wouldn't be so much divorce in our society.

Having chosen to stay home with my children is a life choice that was made by myself and I have never had to "manipulate" anyone sexually in my life to get anything. Again I am forced to wonder why this upset you so.

Husbands and wives MUST connect sexually and if that strikes a negative chord, then I apologize for your reaction, but I will not apologize for what works.

I am so happy that you decided to tell me what you think because it just reinforces my decision to write this book and put my experiences out there to women who are in the same position as myself in this time of my life. I am a young women raising small children and LOVE IT!

I would like to say again how nice it was to hear from you. I will be sure to give my husband an extra big hug tonight and tell him how much I appreciate him. The wonderful thing is that he will return the gesture and we will go on with our lives as happy as we are now.

I have no problem discussing this in more detail with you constructively and am surprised that you didn't mention your concerns when I spoke to you this morning. Maybe you find it easier to voice your very crude statements, which apparently flow so freely through email and not in person. I can assure you that it would be a heated debate. Constructive criticism is very different from brutality and the latter is obviously your method of criticism which will be met with the same reponse.

You may assume that I am a "submissive" individual, but I can assure you that is false!

Regards,
Kerri Cartelli

I would really love to hear what you think.

A little stress here, a little stress there........

2006-11-28T11:02:00.000-05:00

Hey Everybody. Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been very busy, mostly in my head. A couple of weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant with baby number 4. I have to say that since then, my heads been a little cloudy. I suddenly have a whole new set of priorities. The first being to make sure that I rest and take care of myself as best I can.

I am looking at this pregnancy very differently then the last three. One day I was speaking with the obstetrician, this is years ago after the birth of my last child, and he described pregnancy in a very interesting way. I was concerned with getting pregnant again because at the time we "planned" on having four children. Anyway he said that I had to look at pregnancy as if I were a bear. He said when a mother bear gets pregnant, she goes into her cave to hibernate. While hibernating she rests, does as little as possible to exert herself, eats properly and just plain takes care of herself. At the end of the pregnancy she emerges from her cave with a healthy baby cub.

What I took from this explanation was that rest is the most important part of pregnancy. Plenty of rest and as little stress as possible!

How many of you can say that you work on relieving stress in your daily life?
Do you notice that when you are stressed out that you just don't feel well?
Do you feel more tired and cranky?
It is harder for you to enjoy life?

I agree with the stress explanation whole heartedly. I know for a fact that stress is very dangerous to a growing baby. I also know that it is fairly simple to keep stress levels at a minimum. I think it is a choice. I also think it takes work though.

If I want my day to go smoothly, I have to plan for it. Since finding out I was pregnant I had to drop out of a couple of commitments that I had taken on. I had to look at it through the eyes of a responsible mother and not through the eyes of a people pleaser.

Take for example the first commitment I had to drop out of. I was teaching religious education every Tuesday night while my kids were in class. The stress of getting them there early enough so that I could be there for my students began taking its toll. I was rushing my own children and myself like crazy so that I could show up for the other kids. In my eyes that was not the priority. My children are the priority. So I quit. The class will not fall apart. I won't get dirty looks and nasty phone calls from parents. Life will go on. The children will continue to learn from a qualified catechist and I have taken a step toward hibernation.

There comes a time in all of our lives when we have to make choices that seem unfair. But when we look at the big picture, we can see clearly what needs to be done. I pray every day for guidance, patience, tolerance and expansion of my territories. I think the latter prayer is the explanation for this sudden pregnancy, but that's another story.

So my intention for you all today is to try to figure out how you can release one stressor in your life. Try not to make the holiday season a burden on yourself. It is a wonderful time of giving and family. It is a time to reflect on the past year and see how you did and what things you can change to make your life better in the new year. Remember, baby steps!

And always remember, we are in this together!
Kerri

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!!!!

2006-11-21T09:19:00.000-05:00

I want to extend a very Happy Thanksgiving to one and all.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and find peace, serenity and family.

I am sending out my love to all of you out there in the universe in the hopes that you all find the peace you are looking for.

Remember, in the next few days to accept the positive intentions that are floating around.

Gratitude is the meaning of this time of year, so I wish for all of you that you stand where your feet are and bask in the glory of you.

Love, peace and serenity throughout this holiday.

Kerri

Would you rather be nice or dead????

2006-11-18T07:13:00.000-05:00

I usually never post things I get forwarded to me online but I thought these tips were great.

Because of recent abductions in daylight hours,refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation... This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know.

After reading these crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! The outer elbow is strong, however I learned this in a safety class....if someone ever tries to grab you by putting their arm around your neck so that their inner elbow joint is facing you...drop your chin into that area. The attacker can hold as hard as (most likely) he wants, but you will still be able to breathe as he will be holding your chin and not closing off your wind pipe.
Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat .
If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
If you have a remote control key tag..."accidentally" hit the alarm key...you may not draw attention from anyone, but the potential guy in the van next to you doesn't know that.
Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
I would caution against being the only one in the elevator lest the perp gets in on the next floor and now you are alone with him.
If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably ! in a zig -zag pattern!
As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

************* Here it is *******

Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.

I'd like you to send this link to all the women you know. It may save a life. Guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well. Like I said in the subject line, would you rather be nice or dead?????

Give the gift of health this Holiday Season!

2006-11-15T15:25:00.000-05:00

Give the Gift of What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, this
Holiday Season!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know that you are giving your friends and loved ones the gift of mental health this holiday season rather than trying to figure out what it is that they want.

Let’s face the facts, most of us, receive gracefully, but how many times have you found yourself saying, “I love it!” But you’re really thinking, “How many sweaters does one person actually need?”

We don’t want to be ungrateful people, but the sad truth here is that most of the presents we give out are either returned or thrown in the closet only to one day be either re-gifted or thrown in a Goodwill bag.

Let’s start off the New Year right! Let’s start the New Year on the path to health and a new feeling of empowerment.

So say goodbye to the long lines at the department store and the jolly cranky people in Macy’s. Say hello to a new way of living!

Believe me, Thanksgiving is next week and we’re going to hear those jingle bells soon enough. It’s not too early to start shopping and my book is just a click away.

Ho, Ho, Ho, and all that good stuff.

Ciao from your Amigo,
Kerri Cartelli

When Life Throws Us Curveballs!

2006-11-14T10:48:00.000-05:00

Did you ever notice that once you finally have a plan of the way things are going to start going in your life, that all of a sudden life throws you a curveball? Some are soft balls and some are hard.

So, what do you do when all at once all the plans you had and made for yor immediate, and not so immediate future, are changed? Life is a funny thing. Some issues cause you to step back and take a good look at why this issue may have come your way. Some issues may cause you to feel a little sorry for yourself, but no matter what issue it is, isn't it the best thing to look at it through positive eyes?

In the past I've talked a lot about negative eyes and positive eyes. Situations only affect us negatively if we look at them that way. It is so much easier looking at life viewing everything that comes your way as a blessing rather than an inconvenience. I am at the point in my life to know enough about these curveballs. I usually catch them, sit with them for a while and say, "Okay, I guess my plans are changing." Remember, nothing is set in stone and if your ideas about how your life was going must change, well then also realize that nothing is cancelled, it's just postponed.

My intention for you all today is to always try, even though it's hard, to look at life through positive eyes.

And always remember, we are in this together!

How do you balance all that you do???

2006-11-11T08:27:00.000-05:00

I have to day that the hardest part of my life is balancing out all of the things that I do. I talked yesterday about the importance of taking care of yourselves and doing things that bring you fulfillment.

Today I wanted to talk about the household chores. A while back I was introduced to a website called www.flylady.com. On this site you will find a whole program for keeping your house in tip top shape but doing it on a schedule.

I know that the way that I always end up doing it is looking around and saying holy !@#$ when did this mess happen?

I then have to take a whole day, doing nothing else, and clean the house from top to bottom. That doesn't even include the laundry. We all know how I love laundry.

So, the Fly Lady gives you a whole program for cleaning and purging your house so that it isn't that bad to clean in the first place. Go to the site and make your life easier. You'll be glad you did.

Have a great weekend. It's a light one today.
Don't spend your whole weekend cleaning!

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Are you living for you or for everyone else????

2006-11-10T10:22:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone. I was sitting here this morning thinking about how much of my happiness in life is reliant upon others' happiness. Am I only happy if those around me are getting what they want, or does my contentment with my life come from within. You know, that Power Within I've been talking about so much.

Well, in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I talk a lot about self reliance. One of the main lessons in the book is about how we, as women, should not rely on anyone else for our peace of mind. Yet, even if we are working steadfastly on our progress and in our program, we always fall back into that "taking care of everyone" place.

Why is that?

After thinking about it for a little while I've come to the conclusion that as little girls we were taught that our job was to take care of others in spite of our feelings. Put their needs and wants first, then think about ourselves. The problem with that is that when you are constantly putting other people's wants and needs before your own, you never get to yourself.

So, how can we change this without becoming selfish?

I think that it is a process of baby steps. I've learned in the last year or so that as long as I am taking care of my husband and my children's needs, i.e. house, food, love, I can then focus on my own wants. Everyday, I take care of the children in the morning. Make sure they are fed and ready for school, clean up the room and make the house liveable again. I don't know what happens overnight but the little elves must be out making a mess. I then sit down and write my blogs.

My blogs have become an outlet for me to talk about what it is that is on my mind for that day. And while I am writing, I sort of work out the issue right here. It is a wonderful tool and I seriously think that for those of you who do not like to write in a book, a blog is the way to go. Email me if you want to learn more about setting up a blog! Remember, it takes a lot of work to get people to actually read your blog so if you were worried about someone you know finding it, stop worrying. It's highly unlikely unless you give them the direct link.

When I finish my blog, I feel fulfilled for the day. I feel like I've done something for me. That works. If you need to take a walk, read a book, garden, then go for it. Because you won't find fullfillment in that bowl of Cheerios you're dumping in the toilet, or following the kids around with a broom. Then, well in my case, I just start feeling like a housekeeper and a nanny. The other benefit is that your children are seeing that Mom takes care of herself as well as them. It's a very valuable lesson to teach your daughters especially. They are going to grow up to be you and marry someone just like Daddy. Whether you like it or not!

My intention for you all today is to take a moment and think about what you do on a daily basis to fill yourself up just a little. Baby steps is the way to go and you will definately feel your Power Within flourishing.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Kerri

Be careful with that Genie!!!

2006-11-08T09:36:00.000-05:00

I am sure you have all heard the story about the Genie in the bottle.
Well it's a very interesting story and it really related to all of us.

Here's the story!
The person comes across a bottle, they open it and out pops a genie.
I will grant you three wishes that genie says.
Here's the catch!
What do you wish for???
Well in most cases the person first wishes for something like a million bucks!
Wow, they get a million bucks, but the person doesn't make the wish specific enough to say, I wish for a million bucks through my book sales, or I wish for a million bucks from the sale of my house, etc.
So, guess what happens?
The million bucks comes from a bank, so the police show up at the wishee's door.
So, the next wish has to be to get out of jail. (Logically)
And, the last wish in most cases is, I wish I never found this stupid bottle.

What do you all wish for on a daily basis? When you pray, are you specific enough with your Higher Power so he know exactly what you want? When you send intentions out into the universe, do you put out there what you want and how you want to receive it?

My intention for you all today is to be careful what you wish for!!!
You just might get it!

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Honesty, honesty, honesty!!!!

2006-11-07T08:07:00.000-05:00

Hey Everybody. It's been an eventful morning. All the kids are off from school today. Nuf said. I want to talk today about honesty. In my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I talk a lot about honesty. Being honest with ourselves about where we are in our lives is so important.

Sometimes I get very excited about new things going on in my life. The excitement often masks the things that I am not facing on a daily basis, i.e. the laundry. By the way, the laundry is my least favorite thing to do. So, although my new ventures on continuing on the path of my destiny is so wonderful and imperative to my spiritual growth, I have to always stay grounded in what I know to be true. The truth for me today is that I am a mother and wife. These are first and foremost. How do I keep this balance? I constantly am checking my motives in what I am doing and making sure that what needs to get done gets done.

There are people in my life who have real issues. Some are uncontrollable. And although they have a set course to continue on their path to recovery, their illness causes them to waiver and step off the path every once in a while. This is where honesty comes in. The next question is are they capable of being totally honest with themselves or does their illness inhibit their ability to make the right judgements. This I have no answer for.

We should always take stock of how truthful we are being with ourselves. Are we looking at the reality of the day or are we looking at what we wish reality would be. Wishful thinking is not truth! And in cases of those of us with mental illness, we have to be doubly honest and forge through the illness by asking for help and accepting it.

We all have lapses of being open to assistance, but then we pull back and say, "I don't need it!"
Mental illness is an insidious disease and sometimes we are not capable of honesty because we are in a different place in our minds. Give yourself the gift of allowing someone else to help.
If you suffer from mental illness, it is okay to not be right.

My intention for you today is to practice looking at yourselves and being honest about where your feet are right now.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Kerri

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!!!!!

2006-11-06T10:56:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody. Hope you all had a great weekend. Last Sunday my husband brought me to see Monty Python's Spamalot on Broadway for my birthday. Last night I was outside with him talking about something and he reminded me of this song they sing in the movie as well as the play. Always look on the Bright Side of Life. It is so funny because while they are singing the song in the movie, they are being put to death. In the play it is not quite so gory but the gist of the song is, and I may be reading too much into it, is that no matter what is going on in my life, I have the choice to either wallow in uncontrollable circumstances or look at it through my positive eyes.

Yes I've blogged about this before, but I think that we are constantly reminded of things for a reason. That is why I blog, so that I am forced to look at myself and how I am feeling everyday. I know that if I always do the next right thing, I am walking towards my Higher Power's will for me. I want to expand my territories, as the Prayer of Jabez speaks on. I want to open myself up for all that is due me and help as many people in my lifetime as I am supposed to.

My main focus and priority is always at home first. But I think that if I put myself out there and am always willing to do for others, I am blessed abundantly.

This weekend I was sitting in my living room with my kids playing music. My son Domenic has found a new interest in being a guitar player. So he has been picking up a guitar I bought two years ago for the kids and writing his own music. I know how much being able to write songs helped me as a kid and I am elated that I am passing this gift to my children. They will always have an outlet for their emotions and not have to turn to other things to make them feel better. I hope!

So, my intention for you all today is to always look on the bright side of life and realize that we are all here for a reason. Keep your eyes open or you will miss it.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Are You Doing the Next Right Thing???

2006-11-03T10:47:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone. Yesterday, I saw that Sister Cindy Mahoney passed away from Lung Cancer due to her work down at the World Trade Center. I watched her interview and listened to how much work she did down there. It suddenly struck me how much the volunteers down there have been suffering since they helped down there.

So, I started thinking about selflessness. How many of you can truly say that you give to others selflessly. I learned a long time ago that when we give to others, our problems are lessened greatly. It's funny, I am asking you all this question but I have to also pose the question to myself. How much of myself do I give. Am I willing to give to others if it means taking away from myself or my family? It a hard question to answer.

So, let's all start with baby steps. I've blogged about this before and I go into it in more detail in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. Can we all make a small commitment to do a little something for someone else.

I know that there are many times when I get frustrated with everyone else around me because things don't seem to be going my way. Should I blame them? Why am I so focussed on myself? Why is it that everyday I am thinking of me? Why, why, why, blah, blah, blah........

Just think of it this way, giving feels good. It's like that commercial on television. One guy picks up the baby doll, someone sees him and holds the door for someone else, someone sees him and does the next right thing, etc. If we could all just do what we know in our hearts is right, wouldn't that be great? What would the next right thing for you to do today be?

My intention for you all today is to do the next right thing that is in your heart. When grandma calls and you see it on the caller id, pick up the phone. You could make her day!

And always remember, we are in this together!

When was the Last Time You Asked God to Bless You?

2006-11-02T07:49:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone. Well I think everyone has recuperated from Halloween. The kids have already forgotten about the candy. Me hiding it helps. Anyway, we're moving into the holiday season and I will put up all the Thanksgiving decorations today. Some people ask me why I decorate so early for the holidays, especially my husband, and I always answer, "because it makes me feel good!"

Do you guys do things that make you feel good?
I find that it's the little things that I do that really matter in my life. Some of us are always in such a rush, that we've forgotten how the simple little things like sitting on the couch with one of the kids and just doing nothing is wonderful.
If you have a little pip squeek like I do, everytime you sit on the couch, she comes running over and yelling, "tickle me!" It's annoying now, but I know in 1 or 2 years, she won't be doing that anymore and I'll miss it. So, I just tickle her.

Today I wanted to talk about blessings. Don't worry, I'm not gonna get all religious on you, I just was wondering how many of you talk to your higher power. Sometimes we forget to do that. Some people call it praying, some call it meditation (which is actually listening to your higher power), and some just have a conversation with their HP. I am in the latter group. At night when I lay myself down to sleep, I think of all my successes for the day. What I did that day that was good and right. Then I talk to my HP and usually thank him for my blessings.

I received a book for my birthday from my Uncle Jim and Aunt Linda related to asking for blessings. The whole gist of the book is that God has blessings he would like to give us, but we never ask for them. The prayer is actually quite simple and it is something like, "God please bless me alot." That's it!

I never thought of asking God to bless me. I'm always asking God to bless everyone else in my life. People I know and people I don't know. But, what a great idea. Because when I am asking God to bless me, I am asking him to give me his blessings that he has in store for me, not what I actually want. That is my take so far on the book. I'll let you know more when I finish the book. It reminds me of the movie "The Secret." If you haven't seen that yet, you have to see it. It's awesome.

Anyway, today is a rainy day in Connecticut and I plan on doing laundry, cleaning up, working on my eWorkbooks, and enjoying my day stuck inside. Sometimes it's nice to be stuck inside.

Remember to watch out for my eWorkbooks. I am working on them feverishly and plan to have them for sale in the next couple of weeks on my website. They are books to help you work on the principles laid out in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. Finding your Power Within has never been simpler.

My intention for you today is to connect with your Higher Power and ask him for his blessings. Ask him to bless you a lot. But keep your eyes open because it will probably happen quickly. Miracles happen every day but we usually miss them. Let me know what happens and I'll do the same.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Listen to my Interview on Everyday Giving Radio

2006-11-01T12:25:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone. I hope that you all had a great Halloween. I always enjoy spending time with the kids when they are sooo excited about something. I am also always happy when it's over. Let's face it. Halloween starts on October 1st and ends on Halloween. By Halloween evening I am all candied, pumpkined and costumed out.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was interviewed by a fantastic guy named Roger Carr. He does a really wonderful thing. He interviews and makes accessible people in the world who give to others. If he feels that you are an individual who uses your life to give to others, he interviews you. So, clearly I was honored to be interviewed by him.

Please, go and listen to the interview. Don't forget to go to his main website, which is www.everydaygiving.com. Look at all of the wonderful things he is accomplishing through his work.

Also, if you know anyone who truly is amazing and uses their live to give to others, don't hesitate to let him know.

You can also subscribe to his blog and read up on what's going on in the world of giving.

Talk to you all tomorrow.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Music, music, music, music, music...........

2006-10-30T07:33:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone. Yesterday was my birthday. It was a great day. I went to NYC to see Spamalot. The Monty Python play. It was very, very funny.

Anyway, before the play I was in a Broadway store and found an old CD of a Broadway revival that I used to listen to when I was kid. It was called, "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown."

A while back, I blogged about how important music is in our lives. As we get older and get busier with kids and jobs and all of the things we have to do, we forget how great music can make us feel.

So, we're in the car on our way back from the theatre and we decided to listen to the CD. I was instantly brought back to when I was a kid. All of these great feelings came rushing back. There's something that music does for me. I don't know if you guys out there get the same feelings, but music can change my mood in an instant.

Where I am going with this is that when you're in a negative mood or feeling down, throw on some music that you love or dig out those old tapes you used to listen to as a kid or teenager. There was a reason we listened to music all the time when we were younger. It was because it made us feel good.

Also, not having to listen to Barney and the Wiggles constantly in the car is a blessing. That stuff can really start to get to you after a while. Introduce your kids to the stuff that you actually liked as a kid. A while back I made a couple of CD's for the kids with all the music I liked as a kid. The CD consisted of, Willy Wonka, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Muppets, School House Rock and my all time favorite, Really Rosie.

We all have favorites and if you sign up for one of those online music download sites, you can pratically find anything and burn a CD. Then get rid of all that Disney crap, unless you like that Disney crap, no offense.

I think it's so important for us as parents to bring things to our children, if you have the means, that can open their minds up to different things. For instance, when I was a kids, I loooooved Annie. I sung it in the shower, listened to the tape constantly and thought I could become her one day. On my twelth birthday, my great Aunt Anna and my mother brought me to NYC to see Annie on Broadway. I was so excited and in awe. The best part for me was actually watching the orchestra. I was amazed that a group of people could make such wonderful music. I don't know how I thought the music got there, but I was elated.

Those are the things I want my kids to see. I don't want them to just think everything is electronically created. There are people behind everything. It's a beautiful thing.

So, my intention for you all today is to dig out some old music, throw it on, and drift back to an easier time when things weren't so, so important. If only for a few minutes, you can become that kid again and feel that kid feeling. You know what I mean.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Who Do You Connect With?????

2006-10-26T10:23:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I hope you all are doing well.

When I woke up in the morning, I am usually up earlier than the children. So, I start to do my thing and every morning without fail, my little son comes over and gives me a hug. Every time he comes off the school bus, he comes over and gives me a hug. It may sound small to all of you but to me, it just re-affirms why my first priority are my children and my family.

How many of you can honestly say that you make a connection with someone else everyday?

Do have physical contact with someone every day?

The importance of connecting with someone every day is under rated. When I was a child, I remember getting up, getting ready for school and off I went. Sometimes, I didn't even speak to anyone.

Would having connected with someone every morning have made a difference in my life and the choices I made. I think so!

When my little son comes to me in the morning and connects with me, he gets what he needs for the day. I also get my wake up call that reminds me that I have a huge responsibility. My responsibility is to raise my children. My job is to get them ready to be happy, well adjusted adults who can go out into the world and live healthy and happy lives.

That one little hug gives me and my son the opportunity to quietly say to each other, "I am here. I will always be here. I love you."

I think that these little connections we make with others make the difference between feeling alone in this world, which can happen very easily if we're not careful, or feeling that no matter what, we are loved.

Yesterday I discussed the importance of a higher power in your life. I talked about that so intently because many of us aren't fortuate enough to have someone there to hug in the morning. So what do we do?

In my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I discuss the important of Establishing a Sisterline. For you women out there, this is key to getting through your day and not feeling like you are alone and wasting your time. Your "sisters" will always keep you on your path. They will listen and guide you through your trials that only another woman can identify with. We need each other.

My intention for you today is to connect with someone. Establish that Sisterline that you need to feel like someone in the world understands and loves you.

Keep you eyes open for my new venture. I am currently creating eWorkbooks. These workbooks are being written to accompany my book.
They are going to focus on the each principle so that once you read the book, you can then go back and work on each principle and make it part of your daily life.

I look forward to sharing these eWorkbooks with you. They will be available on my website.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Who Do You Live For??????

2006-10-25T08:01:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I hope you are all well with this cold weather and change of the season. My little one Charlotte has a nasty cold and is MISERABLE.

This morning I asked someone what the first thing he thought of was when he woke up and he said, his cat. So that led me to today's blog.

How many of you find that everything you do is for someone important in your life?

How many of you find that there isn't anyone or anything that you care enough about in your life to forge forward when times get rough?

I know for myself that when I am going through some trial in my life, that my drive to get well or make it through the issue is directly related to my family. I know for a fact that if I didn't have my children or my husband, I would have made a lot of negative decisions in my life. They are my source of strength and help me to perservere through any "problems" I might face.

Unfortunately, there are so many of you out there that probably have nothing or noone to love. Is that a choice? I don't know. But what I've found through my personal experience is that it is so important for everyone to have something that they love more than themselves.

Don't get me wrong, loving yourself is imperative, but so many of us, and I think it is in our nature, are stronger for others. This in turn helps us to be stronger for ourselves.

Do you understand?

So, I thought of some ways that we can begin to look outside of ourselves for strength.

The first one is obvious.
Use your higher power. If you don't have one, get one!
The strength that one can receive from their higher power is endless. I
turn to my higher power for strength every day and I truly beleive that he has
carried me when I couldn't walk on my own.

The second is adopt someone.
What I mean is, how many people out there are alone and helpless.
What about that elderly neighbor across the street?
How about that single mother or father who can use a little support just to go grocery shopping?
The most popular one would be adopting a pet.
I've heard so many people talk about their pets and how important they are to them. Get a kitten.
Then everyday when you get home, that little one is waiting for you.
It needs you. It gives you unconditional love.

And isn't that what we all truly want, to feel needed and loved unconditionally.

For me that comes from two sources, my God and my children.

I've been blessed with the ability to see the miracles around me.
You can see them too if you just watch and listen.

My intention for you today is to learn to love something besides yourself.
Give of yourself to others and the blessings you will get back from the universe will be endless.

Remember to see those little miracles that are in front of your eyes.
Wipe away the toxic haze and you will see them. I promise.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Resentment Has Power Over None!!!!!

2006-10-24T07:44:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I hope you are all well and living in your power. Yesterday I talked about Fear as an obstacle to achieving what it is you truly want in life.

Today I wanted to focus on another toxic emotion. Resentment! How many of you find yourself home, taking care of the house, the family, the dog, and forgetting about yourselves?

It's easy for mothers and fathers who stay home with the kids to fall into the "resentment pit!"

Prior to writing my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I found myself in this same hole. I found myself thinking that everyone else is doing what they want to do in life except me. I would think that I was the only one stuck in a situation that I myself had created. That's when I stopped one day and asked myself, "How did I get here?" "How did I become this angry, resentful person?"

The revelation was quite disturbing. and realize that the revelation was not where I was, but how I viewed myself. I am a good mother, a good wife, sister, friend. So why was I constantly viewing myself as stuck or that my life was any worse off than anyone else's?

Back to reality! The day that I finally understood that I create my own destiny, that I am the only one that can change where I am, how I am feeling and how to move forward was a day that I was finally FREE!

That's right! It is freedom from the shackles of the mind when you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, "It's all up to you!" It gives us power. We become powerful once more. We regain that instinctive love for ourselves that we were born with and meant to carry throughout our lives.

So today I would like you all to shed that toxic thinking. Some of us still hold on to our childhoods, what we were told as children, and society's view of where we should be right now in our lives.

How many of you were told that you were stupid in school? I know a few so called "stupid" kids that are professionals running their own businesses successfully. You know who you are.

How many of you were told or heard in your households as kids that we just weren't the type of people to be rich? I personally know a few people that pulled themselves out of the confines of that stereotype who are wealthy beyond their wildest dreams.

Was it your mother who told you to find a rich guy to marry so you'd be set for life? That worked! LOL!

I need you all to understand that once you shed these toxic ideals and realize that You Choose Who You Will Become. If who you are right now, at this very moment makes you smile, then you're there already. Be proud of your life! Even if it isn't what everyone else thinks it should be.

Because, honestly, at the end of the day, all there is is yourself and God! Do you think he really cares if you're a doctor or a lawyer or own a mini mansion in the hills. I don't think so!

My intention for you today is to re-acquaint yourself with who you really are and why you are such an awesome person.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Kerri

Is Fear your problem? Are you ready to overcome it?

2006-10-23T07:18:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. It's been a few days since I blogged on this site. Have you ever noticed that if you put out the intentions of what you want, you get it.

When I am strong and have the self confidence that what I am doing and what I am feeling, people around me treat me the same way. If I demand respect, I get it. (usually) When you truly believe that what you are doing or what you think is right, you will never lose faith in yourself.

When I wrote my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, my sole intention was to help women. I truly believe that all of the opportunities that have arisen since writing the book in my life are directly related to my initial intention. When we put ourselves out there in the universe, the direction comes to us. We just have to be sure to not let those opportunities pass us by.

When I was younger, I always was faced with a lot of fear related to anything I wanted to do with my life. Fear is a very strong emotion and can cripple anyone who lets it take over. Fear comes in many forms. Whether it is going to the coffee shop alone, taking a class, going for that walk, stopping an addiction such as food, alcohol, drugs, smoking, it is what stops us from moving forward in our lives and finding our Power Within.

Isn't it why we were put on this earth? To find that power that we all have inside of us that makes us truly loving and giving individuals. We all have it inside of us. It is just waiting there to be tapped.

How will you overcome your fear today? What baby step will you take to move forward just a tiny bit? Let me know. I really would love to help those out there who want what I've been given. It's a freedom that is attainable if you want it.

Would you like to be free today? Free of the clutter in your mind and the fear that holds you back from finding your true self?

My intention for you today is to tap into that power within you all and take a step forward to living the life you were meant to live.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Da, da, da, daaahhh!!!! It's Super Mom!!!!!

2006-10-19T10:20:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I hope you are all well. Life is amazing. Did you ever notice that you either have everything going on at once, or nothing at all?

How do we deal with these situations without going crazy?

I always say that I have to prioritize what it is I am doing at the moment.
I know for myself that my family is my priority. But, then when I start to pursue other things, businesses, outside of my mommy role, I begin to waiver from my initial priority. Then, the guilt comes in. No one makes me feel guilty, I just think it is ingrained in us as females and mothers to feel guilty from time to time.

So, I then look at the men in my life. How do they go to work every day, stay there for hours and not feel the guilt that I tend to make myself feel? The next question I always ask myself is, "How can I just assume that they aren't feeling guilty?"

Well, I've come to the conclusion that it all has to do with knowing what it is that I want in my life, and how to incorporate them all without ignoring any of the important people and things in my life.

Da, da, da, daaahhh.......enter Super Mom!!!!!!!

Becoming super mom is a really great ego trip but in the end, it isn't really conducive to good mental health. Because super mom eventually becomes leave me alone mom. Not good.

For all of you Super Moms out there who can identify, give yourself a good pat on the back and realize that know matter how super you think you are, you do need help.

So, how do we get help? Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

For those who are financially well equipped.....get a cleaning person. This will help you immensely. I don't mean Mrs. Garrett.....I mean someone to come into the house a couple of times a month to do all the hard work. Mop the floors, clean the bathroom, change the sheets, etc, etc.

Again, for those who have the money.......
Look into those new fangled cooking clubs.
I'll explain. You go to their store, they have all the food set up. You then go around the room and assemble meals for the week. You then bring them home, put them in the fridge and when it is time for dinner, you pop them in the oven. What could be better than that?

Lastly, for those who are running businesses and need to be on top of things, and you have small children, get a nanny!!!!!

I don't mean that you won't be with your kids, but get someone who will be with you during the day so that if you need to run to the business, make phone calls, etc, you have that person with you to take over. In the meantime, while you are home, the nanny can do other things like some of those cleaning duties you can't get to.

There are really great daycares out there that the kids love. I know that my little Charlotte would love to be in school all the time. She just gets bored at home with me. But, that's life.

I know that it is really difficult for all you ladies who want to raise your children and follow your dream of having a business. It just is hard because we are expected to do everything in the home, with the kids, the husband, and the business. All I can say is chalk it up to perseverance.

I once read a verse, poem, whatever you want to call it. It was from a very intelligent "man" and it makes a lot of sense if you want to have it all. Here it goes........

Press On

Nothing in the world can
Take the place of persistence.
Talent will not;
Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education alone will not;
The world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are
Omnipotent!

Take what you can and leave the rest!
And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

A Cosmic Trigger Event Is Occurring on October 17

2006-10-17T10:48:00.000-04:00

A Cosmic Trigger Event Is Occurring
On The 17th Of October 2006

This is the beginning, one of many trigger events to come between now and 2013. An ultraviolet (UV) pulse beam radiating from higher dimensions in universe-2 will cross paths with the Earth on this day. Earth will remain approximately within this UV beam for 17 hours of your time.
This beam resonates with the heart chakra, it is radiant fluorescent in nature, blue/magenta in color.

Although it resonates in this frequency band it is above the color frequency spectrum of your universe-1 which you, Earth articulate in. However due to the nature of your soul and soul groups operating from Universe-2 frequency bands it will have an effect.

The effect is every thought and emotion will be amplified intensely one million-fold. Yes, we will repeat, all will be amplified one million times and more. Every thought, every emotion, every intent, every will, no matter if it is good, bad, ill, positive, negative, will be amplified one million times in strength.

What does this mean?

Since all matter manifest is due to your thoughts, i.e. what you focus on, this beam will accelerate these thoughts and solidify them at an accelerated rate making them manifest a million times faster than they normally would.

For those that do not comprehend. Your thoughts, what you focus on create your reality. This UV beam thus can be a dangerous tool. For if you are focused on thoughts which are negative to your liking they will manifest into your reality almost instantly. Then again this UV beam can be a gift if you choose it to be.

Mission-1017 requires approximately one million people to focus on positive, benign, good willed thoughts for themselves and the Earth and Humanity on this day. Your thoughts can be of any nature of your choosing, but remember whatever you focus on will be made manifest in a relatively faster than anticipated time frame. To some the occurrences may almost be bordering on the miracle. All we ask is positive thoughts of love, prosperity, healing, wealth, kindness, gratitude be focused on.

This UV beam comes into full affect for 17 hrs on the 17th of October 2006. No matter what time zone you are in the hours are approximately 10:17 am on the 17th of October to 1:17 am on the 18th October. The peak time will be 17:10 (5:10 pm) on the 17th October. You do not need to be in a meditative state through out this time, though would be beneficial. The main key time no matter what time zone you are in will be the peak time of 17:10 (5:10 pm).

Perhaps at this time if you can find a peaceful spot or location to focus. The optimum is out in the vicinity of grounded nature, likened to that of a large tree or next to the ocean waves. Focus on whatever it is you desire. What is required for the benefit of all Earth and Humanity is positive thoughts of loving nature.

We call this UV beam trigger event, "818" gateway.

Please forward this message to as many people as you know who will use this cosmic trigger event to focus positive, good willed thoughts. We require approximately 1-million people across globe to actively participate in this event. Please use whatever communication mediums you have at your disposal. Reach out to as many people as possible. We require 1-million plus people at the least to trigger a shift for humanity from separation and fragmentation to one of unification and oneness. This is your opportunity to take back what is rightfully yours i.e. Peace and Prosperity for all Earth and Mankind.

This is a gift, a life line from your universe so to speak, an answer to your prayers. What you do with it and whether or not you choose to participate is your choice.

Only Love Prevails. Be the change you want to see. "In the end, only kindness matters" Peace-it begins with me!"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.""What could you not accept, if you but knew that."

How many of you are using your Circle???

2006-10-12T10:22:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I hope you are all well. Today I want to talk about how many of you ladies have been using your circle of sisters. I use my sisters (women) everyday but sometimes it's a little hard to get through to them. We all have to remember that everyone has stuff going on in their lives. Sometimes it is good to reach out to your women even if they can't get back to you. Just remember to keep reaching out. You never know how that phone message on the machine will effect someone. Everyone needs a little TLC every once in a while, even though we pretend we don't.

Another issue I've noticed lately is that many women feel like they are single parents even though they're married. I find this frequently through speaking with women who stay home with their children. They feel like they are only with children constantly. Then when their husbands come home, they only talk about the children, eat dinner (if he makes it home) and then turn on the television and veg out. I've heard many times that the television really damages a marriage. The reason being that there is no communication. Even though you're sitting in the same room, you are not talking or even cuddling with each other.

When was the last time you actually laid down on the couch with your husband and just talked?

Do you find that you are resentful towards your spouse because you feel like you have to take care of everything in the house and then aren't praised for your efforts?

Remember that the spouse that is out working all day is feeling the same way. In most cases, they are not out with their friends, the bar or golfing. They are at work trying to make a difference in the family. Their intention is to move the family forward and give them all of the things that they probably didn't have when they were young. Then, when they come home they are confronted with a resentful spouse. It's hard to be supportive when you feel ignored, but it's important to try.

The problem with all of this is that once you finally have time together, you are both exhausted and really don't feel like talking. Or, even worse, you get used to living this way and really don't care anymore that they're always at work. You get used to being alone. This is where the single parent feeling comes in. It's easier for us as humans to just accept what is going on then to try to make a change. You are living separate lives in the same house.

How do we resolve this issue? I really don't have the answer. Can you believe that I don't have the answer? Well, remember we are all on the same path, trying to find our Power Within. It just becomes difficult when your Power includes someone else.

So, what do I do? I just try to have faith in my path and that what I am doing in this life is what I am meant to be doing. I know that my higher power only has good intentions for my life. What I do with it is up to me. I know that I am never truly alone. I always have my God with me. I use him to help me get through those days when I just feel lost. It's important to have a connection with something. Find one and use it.

On days when I am feeling totally alone, I remember the tools that I use from my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. It has helped me greatly and I hope that you all have gotten the book and have read it. I am hoping that you all are finding your strength within and realizing that you don't have to be alone.

There are so many of us out there feeling the same way. Reach out and find us. We need each other and that's the only way to understand that our lives are not that unique. We are the same. We love out families, our children, and our spouses. We just need to refocus our energies on keeping ourselves healthy. Because we all know that when mommy isn't happy, no one is.

My intention for you today is to reach out and find those women in your life that may need you as much as you may need them. Don't sit in your house and feel sorry for yourself. If you don't have anyone to reach out to, email me. I can be your connection until you find your own.

And always, remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Woke up, got out of bed and dragged a comb across my head....................

2006-10-09T08:30:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend. I realized this morning that I have been waking up way too late. I had a good system going there for a while where I would wake up before my kids and have at least a half hour before they woke up.

There is something to be said about quiet time. When I wake up and everyone is screaming and wanting breakfast or a book to be read to them and I've barely opened my eyes, it's a little frustrating. How I start my day is important. Although one of the best tools I ever found and put into practice was being able to restart my day at any time.

This is invaluable when all hell breaks loose in the morning. (mom's you know what I mean) It just frazzles you and makes you crazy. Another issue I've been having lately is waking up with a flood of "have to do's." You know when you wake up and immediately start thinking about what you HAVE TO DO! I usually stop, take a breath and realize that I don't HAVE TO DO anything. I choose what needs to be done and then what I would like to do.

There are some days when you just have to take a break. Sit on your couch and don't DO anything. Now I don't mean not feeding the children or brushing your teeth. I mean sticking to that regiment that you follow every day. Take a break. Wait a little while. Get your thoughts together and just wait until you get that wind that sweeps you up and brings you back up to speed. It will help a lot.

The time change is coming so try not to beat yourself up for being more tired than usual. Less sunlight at this time of year will also make you feel a little low. Just be aware that the seasons are changing and we often change a little with them. Go with the change. Embrace it and do what you can to glide into the changes.

My intention for you today is to be gentle on yourself. Give yourselves the gift of slow and steady.

And always remember, we are in this together.

How do you plan to get through the Holidays?

2006-10-05T09:41:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. Sometimes I find that I can easily lose sight of what's important in life. How many of you find this problem in your lives? We worry constantly about all of the "stuff" that we may lose or how we may be inconvenienced if we don't get 2000 cable channels. I often wish that I could go back to the easier times when things were slow and steady. Kids played outside. They used their imaginations. There was one car in the driveway and daddy came home at 5:00. Unfortunately, it's not like that anymore and if it was, I wouldn't be able to blog everyday.

So what does this all mean? Not much! All it means to me is that I have to be grateful for everyday and realize that my family has it much better than many other families out there. In fact, my life today is a thousand times better than it was when I grew up.

This time of year is beautiful in most places. The leaves are turning, the crisp air is moving in and many of us begin to prepare for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let the games begin! I have made a promise to myself that this year I am going to focus on what this all means. If I am going to give gifts, instead of going out on a shopping binge, I want all of my gifts to my family to reflect something from me. Not from TJ Max. Sorry everyone in my family, this year isn't going to be about designer this and I got this on sale that.

I hope you can all join me in reflecting on what's truly important. Why do we do all of the things we do during this time of year? Ask yourself, is it really as enjoyable as it once was? Do you feel that anticipation that you did as a child? Remember how wonderful it felt to give your parents that gift you made at school and how wonderfully they accepted it. I would like to feel that way again. Obviously, I can't because I've been jaded by age, but if I can capture just a glimpse of what my children are feeling, it will all have been worth it.

After all, isn't it all about family? That's how I would like it to be in my home. I plan to achieve this and pass it on. How am I going to do it? I'm not sure yet. All I can do is take baby steps and enjoy the journey. What would you do? Let me know.

If you haven't had a chance to get my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, now is the time. This season is about change and together, using the principles in my book, we can make our lives what we've always wanted them to be.

My intention for you all today is to refocus your priorities. Let's truly take stock in how we are living our lives. If faith still important to you? Do you just stockpile everything in the house? I know that more stuff makes us feel secure but, come on! Eighteen rolls of paper towels? You get what I'm trying to say. Let's take this road together.

And always remember, we are in this together!

You got to Accentuate the positive..............

2006-10-03T09:35:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. Do you ever feel like you're stuck in a rut? It's so easy to get into a negative space that sometimes becomes difficult to pull yourself out of.

How do we pull ourselves out of these negative spaces and put on our positive glasses?
It may sound silly but that's just what I do. I take off those negative glasses and put on the positive ones. Action speaks louder than words. When we physically take action to change how we are feeling, our minds follow.

There are some issues that pop up in life that are more important than others. You've heard of the broken shoelace theory. Here's the scenario. You make it through some huge, detrimental experience with flying colors and then your shoelace breaks and you freak. Unfortunately by that point you're already out there where it is difficult to get back.

So how do you stop yourself from getting to that point. For me, I have to stop myself. Think about what the issue actually is that is causing me the stress and take a long, deep breath. Because, in the end, how important will this issue be. The way I feel is that as long as at the end of the day, I am with my family, everything will be fine. I have no idea what the plan for me in the future is. None of us know what the future will bring for us. All we can do is live every day to the fullest and try to enjoy it. Don't cloud your head with all the "might happens." Live in the here and now while continuing to be smart about the way you live your life.

I'm not saying go out and quit your job and move to a log cabin in the woods, although right now that sounds like a great idea, I am saying that you just have to see everything through those positive eyes. And when all hell breaks loose around you, stop, breath and realize that in the end everything will be find.

My intention for you today is to live in a positive space. Living in the negative is just a waste of time and it won't bring anything but frustration.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Will you be their rock or their excuse?????????

2006-10-02T10:14:00.000-04:00

Hi Everyone. This weekend I had a chance to reintroduce myself to my two little girls. It's always a good thing to have alone time with your kids. When Mom and Dad are together, there are two versions of how things are done. Although it's awesome for us to be together as a family, when one parent is alone with the kids, they get a different view of each parent. And, we are different. Men and women are different. That is not news.

So, my son slept over his uncle's house, some male bonding, and me and my girls did some "girly" things. What do you think we did first? Shop! We went and got some Halloween decorations. We later put them up, made some cookies, put on a fire in the fireplace and read books and ate cookies. What's better than that?

Spending time with children alone can sometimes be a frightening concept. The first thing we think of is, "What are we going to do all day?" Trying to get everything done in the house should not even be in the equation. It won't happen. I find that when I try to go against the grain of reality, it never works out the way I thought it would and it only brings frustration and feelings of defeat.

It's very easy to entertain little girls. Although all girls are different, we are innately the same. We all like the same things, we just learn at an early age to ignore those feelings of wanting to be pretty or looking nice. When we don't have someone to talk to or guide us through those feelings, we learn how to turn them into something else. Girls are known for self destructive behavior or making negative decisions related to their body image. And as we know, these feelings follow us into adulthood. It's only then that we begin to see the damage and begin to repair it.

But, wouldn't it have been nice when you were a little girl to have your mom or some other influential woman in your life to say, "you're beautiful" or "those girls just don't know you" or "let's go fix your hair" etc, etc, etc.....

When I was a kid, I was a tomboy. Not because I wanted to be, but because I was too embarrassed to look pretty. I can't tell you why here in this blog because it would be five pages long, but I have my suspicions and I think I am right on the money. I can say that one of the reasons was that I had to be tough. I wouldn't allow myself to be affected by life.

Email me if you want to talk more about this topic.

All I know is that I am here for my girls and my little boy to answer questions, give hugs, set boundaries, and all that good stuff that I just wasn't privvy to as a kid.

How are you supporting your kids today?

My intention for you today is to look at your children through a child's eyes. Listen to what they are saying and realize that you are their rock.

And always remember, that we are in this together!

Kerri

I'm Back!!!!!

2006-09-28T19:30:00.000-04:00

Hey Everybody. I am sorry I haven't blogged for a while. I decided to take a break from my book promotion, blogging, etc for a few days. I needed to focus on my family and my own well being. Sometimes we all have to take a quick break from all of our extra curricular activities to take stock of how we are dealing with life as we know it and what direction we want to go in.

This week, I had to stop and look down at my feet. I had to remember that life is where I am right at this moment. I had to really understand what I was feeling, where I was going and was I focussing on what is truly important.

I have mentioned in past blogs that I can't stand having a crazy house. Some would beg to differ, but I am talking about my standard of living, not anyone elses. So, I looked around and felt like I had begun to neglect what my priorities are. Whether that is true or not, I felt that way. I spent this week cleaning out my house of all the things I hadn't looked at in a year. I sorted through the thousands of papers that were piling up in filing cabinets, and so on.

What I realized this week is that I am exactly where I need to be. I am an all or nothing person. I am either doing it all or I am doing nothing. But, the difference between the me now and the me prior to my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, is that I am okay with being this way. I am okay with going full force into a situation and then sitting back and taking in and analyzing my situation. I can then objectively look at a situation and make a decision that isn't emotional.

Well, I am glad to be back. My blogging really helps me get through my days and I hope it is helping you too. I am beginning a new venture in addition to everything else. I will slow introduce you all to it and hope that it will help change your lives as it has changed so many others.

If you can't wait to find out what it is, email me and I'll tell you all about it.

And remember, we are in this together!

How do you spend your weekends?

2006-09-22T06:48:00.000-04:00

Hey you beautiful ladies out there! I been thinking about this blog and how it actually serves its purpose. I have decided to not just try to sell my book, but to also offer other resources besides the book for you women (and men) who read every day.

Today, because it's Friday, I want to think about how we re-energize ourselves over the weekend. Read this online article, 6 Ways to Find More Time for Yourself . Many of you who have jobs and careers have only the weekend (if that) to get anything done. What do you do for yourself? Do you take any time for yourself to fill up your well?

Let me explain the "well" concept. Think of your body as a well. If it's full, we are doing well emotionally. Everytime we give of ourselves, some of our well is drained. Marriage, children, work. These are all parts of our lives that take from the well.

The way we refill the well is by doing things that are good for our bodies and minds. Reading, exercising, taking nice walks, etc. If you don't refill the well when it is low, you run the risk of going dry. What happens when the well runs dry? Just imagine a car without gas. It stops.

So, you need to refill your well over the weekend.
How are some ways we can refill the well?

Make a deal with your spouse to take the kids out for a little while.
Lay on the couch and read the book you've been trying to find time to read.
Hire outside help to do all those little things you have to take care of in your free time, i.e. garbage, lawn care, housecleaning, laundrey. You'd be surprised how inexpensive it can be if you shop around.
Order groceries through an online source. Stop and Shop has a service called Peapod.
Read online articles on how to revitalize. Some of your "healthy habits" may back fire on you. Read the article, Healthy Habits That Zap Your Energy. You may want to rethink your weekend ritual.

Making time for yourself and refilling your "well" will keep you happy and ready to face your family and the week ahead.

My intention for you today is to keep the faith. You are on the right path when you consider your well being just as much as everyone else's.

And always remember, we are in this together.

My Dilemma!

2006-09-20T07:15:00.000-04:00

Hello all you beautfiul ladies (and men) out there in cyber world. Today I am thinking about priorities. I find that I keep coming back to this issue pretty frequently.

I find that being a stay at home mom is great. I am home. I can take care of the house. Keep things in order, etc. But what happens when something else is thrown into the mix? Say....a book being published. Getting a little job. Holy Cow!!! It's then and only then that I realize how much work it is to take care of the house and keep things in order.

I've been dealing with this issue since I got my book published in June. Mothers feel guilty when they're doing anything else besides their "wifely" duties and taking care of the kids.

So, how do I find that happy medium?

I have to organize and set up my time accordingly. Is that easy. No!!!

So, today I am working on organizing my time so that every one in our family is happy.
That is my job. Noone ever said being a mom was easy.

How do you organize your time?

My intention for you today is to work at finding a balance in your life. Baby steps!

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Karma! Karma! Karma!

2006-09-19T10:09:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. Did you ever wonder why people are always talking about doing the next right thing? Whenever I think about doing something that puts negative vibes out there, I always think about Karma. If you don't know what Karma is, I will tell you MY definition. I think Karma is the energy you put out into the universe. I think that if I am thinking good thoughts and carrying out positive actions related to myself, my family and people I come into contact with, it comes back to me.

There are a lot of people out there who have the "What's in it for me?" attitude. Maybe it's because they grew up with nothing and are always trying to catch up or maybe it's because they just don't think any actions they take in a positive direction affect anyone. What I've learned in my short lifetime is that every action I take be it positive or negative come back at me in some shape or form. There are a lot of different schools of knowledge that call Karma something else. But, when it comes down to it, it's all the same thing, whatever you call it.

For instance, I tend to take on too much at one time. Whether it be volunteering for something, helping someone out, etc. People close to me are always saying, "You are taking on too much, you have enough to do already with three kids." And, sometimes I listen. But, then there's that nagging feeling that is in my gut. I know that when I help others, it comes back to me. I know that when things get tough around my house or in my life, that the help I receive from others is directly related to the help I put out there. Miracles come in disquise if you're not looking for them. You get what you give.

So, enough preaching from me. I was just feeling good today about my life knowing that whatever I put out there will come back. And, right now, it's coming back. Nough' said!

My intention for you today is to think about what you're doing to help others in your life. Have you locked yourself up in your little world, waiting for good stuff to come? Or, are you out there giving of yourself, just a little, knowing that your a good person and that the gifts that have been given to you are not in vain?

I put my positive intentions out to you all that come across my blog today.

And always remember, we are in this together!!!!!

When Life Throws Us Curveballs!

2006-09-18T07:03:00.000-04:00

What do you do when life throws you a curveball? Do you run in the house and hide under the covers, or do you stand up and say, "keep it comin'!"

This is a hard question. Every situation warrants a different response. There are many instances where we can say, I have no control over this and trust that because you always do the next right thing in life, that the right thing will happen for you. But, what do you do when Murphy's Law applies? And what do we do about the things we can control?

How willing are you to make the changes in your life that are imperative to survival at the time? Can comfortablility be a factor? Would you rather use the credit cards than have basic cable? Would you rather dip into that very little savings account so the family can go to the movies, knowing full well that you'll end up in the negative? I mention financial issues because these are the issues that can make or break us emotionally, relationship wise, etc.

These are the issues we can control!

Take stock of how willing you are to make changes today. Look honestly at yourself when you need to make a change that will make you uncomfortable. Pay attention to all of the little excuses that pop into your head as to why I just cannot do that.

Today is a short one. We attended my little neices birthday party on Saturday. My brother was not there in body but he was there in spirit. We all miss him but I know he was there.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Kerri

Walk the walk!!!!!!

2006-09-16T06:27:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. Well, it's been a "blah" week. Raining in Connecticut, daughter sick, house bounding with clutter....what to do, what to do, what to do.

It's sooooo easy to just sit back and feel sorry for ourselves, isn't it? That little devil jumps on the first opportunity to pull you back into your old thinking. Be very aware of this. You are going great, feeling great and one little thing happens to affect your ego and bang. There she/he is whispering in your ear. Telling you all of the things you thought were gone forever, but, guess what? Your little devil is just waiting for that moment when you appear weak or vulnerable and then just starts that whole dialogue again.

Aren't we lucky we have the tools we need to quiet that voice? There's that split second when you make the decision to either sit back and feel sorry for yourself or say, "to hell with you" and shake off the dust of the day and start over.

Of course it's more comfortable for us to sit back and feel sorry for yourselves. But, if you actually gave yourself time to do that, you wouldn't like it that much.

So, we decide to move forward in our quest for empowerment. And that's just it, isn't it? It's a journey to empowerment. Every step and every decision no matter how small either moves us toward or away from finding our power. What will you decide today? Will you move toward or away from your power? That's right folks! It is completely up to you!

Making difficult decisions that affect not only you are the hardest. We innately know what the right things to do are, yet we hold onto that little bit of selfishness. Why should I do this? I know it's better for the family, but why should I have to make changes?

These are the big ones although they seem small. Watch out for that small stuff! It's the small stuff that creeps in and piles up.

My intention for you today is to stay strong in your convictions and stay on your path to empowerment regardless of what road blocks go up. Walk the walk!!!!!!

We are powerfull women. Don't forget that! You choose who you want to be!

And always remember, we are in this together!

Kerri

HELP!!! I CAN'T FIND MYSELF! WHERE DID I GO????

2006-09-14T07:17:00.000-04:00

Have you every found yourself asking, "Where did I go?" One day you wake up and don't know how you got where you are? Well, welcome to Mommyland!!!!

Now, don't get me wrong. I love being a mommy! I would not change one decision I made related to having children. I just know that in the beginning of motherhood it is so exciting. There is a flurry of attention when that first little bambina/o is in your belly. Everyone is asking YOU how you feel. Everyone around YOU is smiling. Everyone around YOU is giving YOU little gifts for the baby. Attention, attention, attention.

Finally, after all the baby showers are over and the furniture is all set up and the pretty painted dressers are done, etc.....the day comes! Even in the hospital it is a flurry of activity. All of your friends are waiting for the arrival. Your mom, your dad, grandma, grandpa, yada, yada, yada. Then the pain begins, but you can handle it. After all, everyone is counting on you. Your husband is waiting patiently, anxiously, he loves you soooooooooo much.

Here come's baby. REALITY!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, this part of the story changes a little. Suddenly, you are no long YOU, now you are MOMMY. Guess what? You are no longer the center of the universe. Baby is. This is where I allowed Kerri to slip away, and Mommy to creep in and take over. Kerri, the musician, teacher, writer, etc, etc, etc, was gone. Mommy needed to take care of baby. Mommy needed to shop for baby. Mommy needed to entertain baby. Mommy needed to not focus on herself, she needed to take care of baby.

Do you understand where I am going with this?????

So, fast forward seven years later 9or however many years it is for you) and Mommy is still taking care of baby, but now it's three babies. And these babies are growing. These babies are riding school buses. These babies are watching Nickelodeon and arguing. These babies no longer need Mommy to wipe their heiny's.

Here we are. Here I am asking myself, "How did I get here? Where is Kerri?"
That is the million dollar question. But, what is the answer? How do I find myself?

In my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I will teach you how to rediscover yourself!

There is a lot of guilt associated with reconnecting with yourself and splitting up the Mommy persona. It's okay to be Mommy. In fact, it's wonderful. But, it is not okay to not be YOU. It is not okay to live and die by others needs. Guess what happens? One day, you look in the mirror, if you can find one that just doesn't show your face, and you say, "Holy !@#$%!!!"

When you can accept that there is something different about yourself and become willing to make the change, then you are ready to read my book. You are ready to rediscover your power.

The first step to rediscovering yourself is to get reacquainted with the women you were prior to Mommydom.

Here are some tips to find yourself:

Take out some old photo albums
Look through the pictures.
Recognize how you are feeling or how you felt about yourself then.
Read some old journals you wrote way back when.
Think about what you did then to be good to yourself and make a list.
Where were you working then? Were you a professional? Figure out how you can reincorporate this into your life.
Did you have a passion or dream that you wanted to fulfill besides Motherhood.
If motherhood was your dream, what can you do to create that picture of what you thought your life would be today.
Make a commitment to yourself to re-connect with YOU.
Buy my book and start reading!

Let me know what you think.

If you are already in this place of balance and positive thought, how did you do it?

Share with us.

Remember that you alone will create your life to be what you would like it to be. No one else is responsible for where you are today. Together, we can rediscover the woman inside of us and bring her to the surface. Who you used to be will be twice as good today if you can merge the two identities.

Imagine how wonderful it would be for your children to meet the person your husband fell in love with.

And always remember, WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER.

Kerri

Clear out the "clutter" in your life!!!! FREEDOM!!!

2006-09-13T06:30:00.000-04:00

Well Folks. Today is a new day in my home. Yesterday I cleaned out the bedrooms. I cannot believe how much stuff we can accumulate over such a short period of time.

I think cleaning out my house is like cleansing my spirit. I feel like I am starting fresh. Starting on the right foot going into the new season. It is also a great way to see how you have been behaving. When I find a lot of stuff that I didn't even know I had or things I purchased that was never even touched, I have to take a good look at myself and wonder how much I am respecting my husband who works day in and day out to "bring home the bacon." I think, in my case, it's a direct reflection of how much I am thinking of his efforts when I am throwing our money away.

This all started last week when I was yelling at my children to clean up the toys. My middle daughter said, "Mommy, I can't clean up, there are too many toys!" She then continued to ask if I could "get rid" of some of them. I was baffled. Here I am buying things for them that I thought they wanted. What I realized was that I was getting things for them that "I" always wanted when I was young.

So, today is a new day. I've decided to give my children the gift of waiting for things that they truly want.

I remember going on vacation in North Carolina with my family. We stayed in a beautiful condo. All we had with us was a week's worth of clothing and the kids had backpacks of toys. I did a little load of wash every day. Straightened up the few items in the apartment and was in total bliss. I mention this because that is how I would like my house to be. Less is more.

How do you handle all the "clutter" in your life?

Let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you.

My blog today is a little haphazard and not very "deep" but, I think I've gotten my point across.

My intention for you today is to try to clear out some of the "clutter" in your life. Whether it is material or emotional. Give yourself the gift of starting fresh. It will lift you up.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Kerri

Do you have an Emotional Hangover Today????

2006-09-12T06:48:00.000-04:00

Hi Everyone. Don't forget to go to Inside Success Radio and cast your vote for me to be interviewed. I need all the help I can get.

When I was younger and much more emotional than now, I would have instances where my emotions were completely out of whack. Whether it be over a break up, stress, work or anything that would lead me to a meltdown I would be totally exhausted the next day. I would find myself wondering why I was so worn out.

I finally realized, with age and wisdom (I think), that I was emotionally hungover. Now many of you out there know what a "hangover" is, but for those who have been living under a rock, I'll explain it. A hangover is typically associated with too much indulgence in alcohol. The next day, you feel like you were run over my a truck. It is because your body is dehydrated and it is recovering from the abuse it took.

Emotionally when we put our minds through the ringer, the next day, it tries to recuperate. It's the same thing. I bring this up today because yesterday was 9/11 and many, many of you were emotionally distraught. So, today you may wake up thinking, "Well thank God I got through that" and still feel awful. You're tired, irritable and not really feeling like going through the day.

I am suggesting that today you be gently on yourself. Don't make those big decisions today. If you have some sick time, take the day off and be good to yourself. Send the kids to school and watch movies. Eat for Christ's sake! Take a long bubble bath. Since summer is ending, walk around your house and cut some flowers that will be dead in a few weeks. Put them in a vase and look at them. (That's my favorite thing!) And for those who have some extra cash laying around, go to get a facial, pedicure, etc. Do something you normally wouldn't do for yourself. And accept it! I'll say it again for those who blocked it out. Accept the kindness from others.

You must be gentle on yourself. It's extremely important that you deflate that stress. Even more important.....if you didn't cry yesterday.....do it! Sadness comes out in many different ways. We've talked about this before. Let yourself go. You'll feel a world of difference later.

How will you deal with your emotional hangover today?

Let me know what you did to get through this day. I want to know what you think and how you are feeling.

My intention for you today is to be good to yourself.
Follow the principles in the book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women:

Let others help you feel better. Call your women!!!! Maybe they need you.
Dance in the living room to some old music.
Shake the dust off your journal and write.
Sit in the yard and listen to the birds talking.
Tell your little devil to take the day off.
Make some declarations in the mirror and believe them to be true.
Talk to your God today. He's listening!
Let it out. Let it out. Let it out.
Accept your husband or friend's offering of love and understanding graciously without argument.
And remember tonight when you lay down to sleep to record what you've done RIGHT today. Remind yourself that you are doing well. That you are living a good life. Be grateful for what surrounds you, even if it is not exactly what you want.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

How will you get through this day? 9/11

2006-09-11T05:50:00.000-04:00

Good Morning! Well, today's a very sad day for the people of the United States of America. We reflect on the attacks of September 11th 2001. My heart and thoughts go out to all of you who may have lost loved ones on that day.

Many of us mourn for those who were lost because we all lost something on that day. Whether it be our feeling of security and safety within this country or children that have since then gone of to war to fight for that slice of freedom that slipped away on that day. If we think of the sixth degree of separation, we would recognize that in some way, we all knew someone who knew someone and so on. We were all affected. Some worse than others.

I know for me, many young men from my old neighborhood in the Bronx lost their lives on that day. When I grew up in the Bronx, for many of the young people, you either became a cop or a fireman. So, I need not go on. Many yound men were lost.

I am further saddened personally today because it is my little neice's third birthday. As some of you may know, I lost my brother Billy last month in a car accident. His daughter's birthday was a big event for him. She was his proudest achievement. I send all of my love and thoughts to her and my sister-in-law today.

So, how do we tap into our "Power" today with all of this saddness surrounding us?
Do we hide out in our houses in fear?
Do we get angry and hurt others, continuing the chain of destruction?
Do we blame God and insist that we are in fact alone on this earth?

How will you get through this day?

In my case, I will feel. Whatever it is, I will feel. I won't hide out! I will try not to be angry! I absolutely never blame my God for anything that happens on this earth.

Today, I will go the my church, light a candle for my brother and all of those lost on this day five years ago. I will say a prayer for all of the families that are struggling today and every day since 9/11. And, I will say an extra special prayer for my sister-in-law who will struggle today with her daughter because she can no longer celebrate her daughter's birth with her husband.

Today is indeed a very sad day. Feel it. Mourn. Be grateful that we were all given the gift of freedom, love and life. After all, we continue to live.

How will you live today?

I will get through my day being grateful for this great country I live in. I will be grateful for my husband and my loving family. And I will thank my God for all of his gifts that I very often overlook.

My intention for you today is to live in gratitude and feel your emotions. It is okay to feel sadness. Try not to "not feel" today. If you find yourself saying, "I am trying not to feel bad" then realize that your are not feeling. Feel the emotion, let the feelings out and understand that you are human. Humans are emotional creatures. We continue living and feeling whether we like it or not. Give yourselves that gift. Better yet, help someone else get through this day and know that we need each other.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

CALLING ALL BLOGGERS!!!!!!!

2006-09-08T14:19:00.000-04:00

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!

I am scheduling a Virtual Book Tour for my very first, newly published book;
What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women.

I need bloggers who would you be interested in interviewing me for my book tour.

The format is:

I send you the book (electronically)
You read the book.
You review the book on your blog prior to the interview.
You write up about 10 questions related the book.
You send me the questions via email.
We then decide on a date for the interview.
You post the tour itinerary on your blog site.
You post the interview on your blog site.

In turn, I post everything on my blog also.
Anyone else who interviews me for their blog does the same thing. And so on, and so on............

FREE ADVERTISING PEOPLE!!!!!

How does that sound?
I appreciate your reading this announcement and look forward to hearing from you.

Email me with your response or comment. I'd love to know what my fellow bloggers think of this idea.

Are you part of the solution?????

2006-09-08T06:44:00.000-04:00

Do you express your individuality and uniqueness or do you follow along with the herd trying to look, act, and be part of the group. If there's one main issue that will inhibit you finding your power within, it is not being yourself.

When I moved to Newtown, CT from the Bronx, NY five years ago, I found myself smack dab in this situation. In the Bronx, there were so many different types of people that I fit right in. Feeling that you fit in is important to people. I never thought of myself as different from everyone else. When we moved up to CT, I found myself engulfed in self doubt. I was unsure of myself and wanted to be like everybody else. I could clearly see how I was different than everybody else.

I started to behave differently with my children. I would peek out the window and if the kids were out with their bikes, I would gather up my children, make sure they were properly dressed and run outside and try to fit in.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?????

What I realized, and it took a while, was that I am me. I'll say it again. I am me. I am different from many people, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. But, I've learned to embrace myself for who and what I am and love me. I no longer peek out the window. I know longer feel self conscious when my kids are playing outside making "too much noise." I am what my God created and I am okay.

How many of you can identify with these feelings?
How many of you find yourself tirelessly trying to fit in with the "group?"
Do you constantly second guess yourself?
Do you find that you are never quite happy with you?
How do you handle situations such as these? Now be honest!

I want to hear from you. I want to know what other women (and men) are doing to find their Power Within.

I finally found the secret to being empowered. All these principles are listed in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. Get the book. Start following the principles. Rediscover you and begin to learn how to love yourself. It worked for me and it will work for you if you can remain honest.

My intention for you today is to be yourself. And like it! If you are not there yet, then try to like it! Recognize the beauty that is you and write down how it makes you feel. Journal, journal, journal.

And always remember...We are in this together!!!

Tell that little devil to get lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-06T06:20:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I am sitting here thinking about priorities. Now I know I wrote about this a couple of weeks ago. But what I noticed was that the issue keeps coming up.

I have been feverishly working on promoting my book. It's a lot of work but I love it. What I did notice was that when things become difficult and all the RAH RAH for Kerri dies down. My little devil (chapter in book) starts talking to me.

It's starts saying;

"You're wasting your time."
"No one want to read your book."
"Just go back to your old ways and stop trying to be successful."

Normally in the past, I would have said, "You know, you're right." I mean really, why would a poor kids from the Bronx think that she could be successful at something like this? Why should I be different from anyone else? Why try so hard? Life ultimately sucks anyway, Right?

Wrong!!!! But since, I've written the book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women I see know where these thoughts are coming from. I say to my little devil, "you are wrong and I am not quitting!!!!" No matter how much my old tapes play and my little devil talks to me I will persevere and continue on the path to empowerment. I am empowered. I am empowered every time I tell that voice to go away. Every time I replace that thought with the words, "I am unstoppable!!!!!!!"

Because you know what folks, I am. And so are you. We all are. We just have to make that decision.

How are you feeling today?
Is your little devil talking to you?
Are you trying to achieve something, but keep hitting that wall of doubt?
How can you change that?
What can you do to know that you are unstoppable?

Let me know what you think. Send me your questions and comments. Let's start a dialogue!

My intention for you today is to know that no matter what is going on in your mind, and how many self defeating comments come in, you can forge through and refocus.

And as always, we are in this together.

Who are you protecting?

2006-09-04T06:12:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. Happy Labor Day. I hope you are all having a great weekend.
Today I wanted to talk about how we sometimes avoid situations in life, or resist moving forward towards feeling better because we are stuck in protection mode. When I say protection mode I mean we are still protecting that little person inside us, you can call it whatever you want, because we've never given them the opportunity to move forward.

As a child, I was often very fearful of people and the unknown. We all have instances from childhood that we would rather forget. But the problem that faces us as adults is that we never pay attention to that little person who is still afraid, angry and/or fearful. So, in turn, when we are faced with obstacles or situations that we feel are uncontrollable or bring up fear (change) we sort of resort, subconsciously, back to that little person. This does not help that person to move forward. So he/she is stuck, leaving us in stuck in the here and now wondering why it is so difficult to grow.

Can you picture who that little person is? I call mine "Little Kerri." A while back, I was having issues that were directly related to my childhood. I sought out the assistance of a professional to deal with these issues, along with using the principles that I've outline in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. I did an exercise with the doctor that made a lot of sense to me. Role playing it is called. I had to actually act as if I were speaking to "Little Kerri." I had to actually feel and revisit the emotion that she was still feeling. I had to make a commitment to make changes to insure her security and well being. This helped me greatly. Once I realized that I was still overprotecting her, I learned that I was responsible for her ability to move forward and grow which would insure my growing and changing today.

It may sound strange to you and a little wierd. That is good. It means you are thinking about it. Visualize this person. Make an effort to comfort that person. Be responsible for that person. Many of us know that when we became parents, we were forced to face many of our fears head on and had no choice but to conquer the fears for the good of our children. We are role models. We have to at least act as if we are okay.

Try to be that role model, that strong mother/father to that little person inside you that you've forgotten about. When fears arise, think of that little you and realize that what and how you respond to situations directly affects your little buddy. Visualize how "he/she" would feel if you made the change you've been trying to make. Their response will carry you to the next level of empowerment. They will then be able to move forward out of their fearful place. Imagine that every decision you make effects them. Remember, we are stronger for others.

Who is your little person you've been protecting?
How do your actions throughout the day effect them?
Are you willing to start nurturing them to move forward?
What actions can you take to insure your success?
Who are you still protecting?

Let me know what you think of this "little" concept. It's helped me greatly and I know if you are willing, it will help you. Remember, being openminded to new ideas is what will help you begin to change. Baby steps!

I would love to hear some feedback from all of you related to today's and other blogs I've written. I am hoping that you are beginning to make the changes in your lives that will help you move forward and not be stuck. I know for me, that these blogs are keeping me on track as I walk the path. There is always more work to do on ourselves and there is always room for growth.

You can visit me at my website www.kerricartelli.bravehost.com and learn more about how you can begin living today. What would be the most important question you would ask me related to finding your power within? AskKerriCartelli the question so that we can start a dialogue. I can answer any questions or discuss an issue that has been holding you back from making the necessary changes in your life. Or email me at kerricartelli@yahoo.com. I would love to hear from you.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Do you respond or react??????

2006-09-02T11:00:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone. I was thinking of this topic because when I was younger and didn't know much, oh what a few years does to you, I definately didn't have a good grasp on response and reaction. If anything happened in my life that threatened my being in control or caused me to fear in any way, I reacted. And boy did I react!

Let me explain my outlook on the difference between reaction and response. When I RESPOND to something, it is without emotional attchment. I don't lose control of how I am feeling about the situation or issue. I can think clearly, think it through and see the truth. Then I can deal with the circumstance and move on with my day in my power.

When I REACT, I am usually not thinking clearly. I am definately in my emotions and usually the outcome is not good.

Let's take a real life experience or scenario. I call up the cell phone company because my phone service isn't working. Now, I know I paid the bill. I know I didn't damage the phone in any way and there shouldn't be any problem. Right?

I am on the phone on hold for a good 20 minutes knowing that when I get an operator everything will work out fine. I am in my power thinking clearly. Great!

The operator gets on the phone, I give her all the information, she says, "No problem, let me transfer you to ................" Okay, this is normal, I'll only have to hold for a few seconds. She transfers me, it rings, and.................dial tone.

Now, be honest here. What would you do???????

I have to say that my first REACTION is F!@#$%^!!!!
Maybe I want to throw the phone through the window.
Maybe I decide I am going to call back and give them Hell.
How dare they treat ME this way.
ANGER!!!!!

So, based on the principles in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I stop. Take a deep breath. Realize that it wasn't personal. I have to make the decision. Am I going to call back? Am I going to wait? So, I decide to RESPOND. I call back and explain what happened and because I didn't flip out, the operator really helps and I didn't ruin my day.

It's clear to me what the better outcome was. I know that if I weren't living in my power, I would have gotten nowhere. I would have let this one little phone call ruin my day. Maybe my week.

When I can stop, breath, and think clearly in moments of frustration and/or extreme emotion, my life is much easier.

What do you think?
What would you have done?
Do you have any suggestions about how you would have behaved differently?
Let me know.
Go to AskKerriCartelli and write away!!!! I look forward to hearing from you all.

My intention for you today is to be able to recognize your emotions. Are you reacting or responding. Take a look at yourself. Be honest. This one little (or big) exercise can change how you are feeling in a major way. Try it and let me know how you do. I welcome your comments and stories. I'll post some of them on my website.

And always remember, we're in this together!

Do make promises, or do you commit???????

2006-09-01T06:58:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone. Hope you are all well and living in your power. Today I am writing about the difference between making promises and making commitments. I know for myself that when I promise something it seems almost childish. I don't take the word too seriously. Instead, when one of my kids asks me to do something and they say, "do you promise", I hear in my head, "will you commit to this?"

Here's and experience I had yesterday. My son is getting older and wanted me to make his room like an "office" yesterday. I "promised" to help. So......when he came home from school and asked, "Are we going to make my office", I really didn't feel like it. But.....I promised. And like I said, in my mind I committed, to help him. And so we made his office. He was elated and feeling very grown up. He made signs for his door, listened to Rock n' Roll in his room, and was happy. Happy until he wants the next thing. You know how that goes.

I want to pose a question to you all. How seriously do you all take your commitments you make to others and yourself? I think that every time we make a commitment and break it, it changes us just a little bit, for the worse. We know in our subconscious that we didn't follow through with something again. All that does is damage our progress in changing and stifles growth.

In the past, I was the queen of starting things I didn't finish. I would start them, become totally obsessed and then just stop. You can read all about this and other issues in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. What I realized, and is one of the principles in my book, is that I was searching for something. I was searching for something to fill me up. Like I've said before, I wasn't living in my Power and I was always trying to fill up that space that was empty. I had a wonderful family, great husband, kids and was generally happy, but was still always searching, always searching. The problem was that I didn't realize I was searching for anything. I truly believed that what I was doing at the time was what I wanted to do. And I would fight you to the bone to prove it.

Once I realized what I was up to, and how it was affecting me, I began to make the change. I began to develop the tools I've laid out in the book, and learned how to get through the struggles and come out the other end happier.

What do you think?
How do you get through your day?
Do you make promises or commitments?
Are you using the principles in the book to help you?
Have you begun to see anything in your life that would cause you
to want to make the change?

Email me and let me know what you think. Ask me questions. Let's start working together to find our path to empowerment.

My intention for you all today is to start finding your Circle of Sisterhood. Notice if you are making empty promises or are you committing and keeping those commitments. Go to my website and see how you can begin finding your Circle and start on the journey to finding your Power Within.

I am going to be setting up a "Live Chat" on my website. A sort of impromptu Circle of Sisterhood meeting. Just check out my sight for the date and time. Let's all get together informally and start finding each other and walking down the path to empowerment.

It will change your life as it did mine.

And always remember, we are in this together!

What is this Feeling and How Can I Get Rid of It?????

2006-08-30T07:00:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone. I wanted to let you all know that my interview with ArtistFirst Network is available for listening. Just go to www.artistfirst.com and click on Archives. Scroll down to Authors and then down to Kerri Cartelli. Click on my name and your computer will begin to download the file. It will open in your media player on your computer. I hope you all listen. It helps those who don’t know me to see where I am coming from and how I actually think about things. For those who have listened already, I say thank you.

I was looking at the headlines last night on the news. I found myself feeling for those victims of Hurricane Katrina. Last year when it happened, although I felt for the victims who lost loved ones, I couldn’t identify with them because I had never lost a loved one. This years as some of you may know, I lost my brother a few weeks ago, so, I am now able to at least identify with the feeling of loss.

So, how do you deal with grief? Do you shut down? The other day I was talking with a woman who is dealing with sadness. She hasn’t lost a loved one, but she was very sad due to a breakup. One of the main issues she was having was not feeling better. We try to feel better and better and better. My suggestion to her was to stop TRYING to feel BETTER! I think, and this is only my opinion from my experience, that when we are grieving for any reason or going through a situation, that our first reaction is to try not to feel. I know from my life, that whenever I try not to feel the feelings, I feel worse for longer.

I say that if we stopped trying to not feel, we would feel better faster. (Say that 10x fast) when the emotions come, we need to feel them. Having positive ways to vent our feelings are very important. If crying is the outcome, then I say “cry your eyes out.” If anger is the problem, than find a positive outlet to vent your anger. Like I said the other day, I have an actual punching bag in the basement. I scream in my pillow. Clean the house. That always has a good outcome.

Try to see the emotion as a way of releasing the negative feelings. Remember that tire that is going to explode? Emotions that are shoved down will eventually come out however they can. In my book What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, there is a chapter called the Discomfort Zone (The Stuffing Factor). It’s all about issues like these and others that we subconsciously avoid.

My intention for you all today, is to feel those feelings. Don’t be afraid of them. Here is a quote that I wanted to share with all of you today.
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
Quote by Leo Buscaglia

And always remember, We are in this Together!

Visualize, visualize, visualize......................

2006-08-29T06:30:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I was sitting here this morning, very early, out on my back porch thinking about things. Today’s the first day of school for my two oldest. Oh, wait a minute, I’m having heart palpitations……….alright I’m okay. I’m just so excited. Anyway, I like to get up before the kids wake up and all hell breaks loose, and sit in peace and quiet. Just for a little while. I have to be very quiet because God forbid Mommy’s up without them. Okay, enough of that.

There’s something I try to do every morning. It may sound a little weird to some of you, but I’ll put it out there anyway. I sit in the back, close my eyes, and send my intentions out into the universe. Now, your universe can be whatever you want it to be. My universe is God, the spirits, etc. So, I close my eyes and visualize what it is I would like to happen. Be clear, I am not praying and hoping something will happen. I am expecting things to happen. Because I learned a while ago that if I put the expectation or intention out into the universe and I always do the right thing (Karma, Golden Rule, etc) the right thing will happen. For example, every morning when I close my eyes I visualize myself being introduced on the Oprah show as a new, up and coming author. Well, it could happen. She loves, mothers, teachers, women, etc. Hey, you never know.

I talk about intentions in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. And what I say in the book is that you should stand up, and say specific things to get them into your mind. It sort of falls under the same principal. If you put it out there in the universe, it comes back at you.

Today, I want you to put out an intention. Close your eyes and think of what it is you want or better yet, what you need. Visualize what it will look like when this something happens. Picture it in your mind and feel the feelings. Really get into it. You will actually find yourself smiling. And, the most important thing, feeling great.

Have a great day and woo hoo to all you moms whose kids are going to school today. Now the real work to find your Power Within can really begin.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Just relax!!!!!!!Come find your Power Within!

2006-08-28T07:31:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I hope you all had a great weekend. Here in CT it was raining the whole weekend. What a way to start the school year.

I know for a lot of you out there, school is starting tomorrow. Whenever I think of school starting, I think of that STAPLES commercial with the guy pushing the shopping cart and the track in the background is playing, “It’s the most wonderful time, of the year.” I find that commercial the most fitting to how I feel when school starts. I think I am the only mother dancing in the street when the school bus pulls away. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more that anything but……come on……two whole months of mommy, mommmy, mommmmmmy……enough is enough!!!!!

Today I want to talk about relaxing. Remember the blog I wrote about releasing pressure or stress from your body. I compared it to a tire. You have to let it out slowly.

How do you de-stress? Do you wait until your tires about to explode? Or do you, every so often, take a little break from reality for a few moments? Maybe go out for a walk, (only if you actually like to walk), watch a movie ALONE, read a book, etc. Yesterday I made a really good dinner for the family. After we ate, I was hit with a wave of exhaustion. I said out loud, “I am lying down on the couch!” And do I did. I didn’t feel guilty that my husband had to clear the table, or bathe the kids. I slept for an hour. The kids were yelling, my husband was working in the kitchen, but I slept. What a wonderful de-stressor that was. When I woke up, I was that much more grateful for my family. I was happy to be alive and feeling calm.

What do you think would have happened if I didn’t nap? I probably would have been nasty to everyone because I was tired.

Now I know that you all don’t have the luxury of a husband to let you sleep, but I am trying to make the point that any little thing helps. Take the time for yourself and just relax.

My intention for you all today is to spend a little time de-stressing. Whatever it takes for you to feel recharged, just a little. Because after all, if mommy’s not happy, no one is.

Visit my website. I have a free gift for anyone who purchases my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, through the website. I think you’ll like it.

And always remember, we’re in this together!

kerri

Do you feel like Pluto? Are you lonesome tonight?

2006-08-26T06:51:00.000-04:00

What does someone do when they are lonely? Do they rent sad movies? Do they buy an animal to them company? Do they sit where they live day in and day out waiting for someone to call to hang out or feel sorry for themselves? What would you do?

What bout those people who are in relationship? They have what they wanted. They are surrounded by people who “love” them. Why would they feel this way? It doesn’t make sense, does it?

Oh yeah, and there are those people who can be in a room with a hundred people and still feel lonely. What about them?

I have to say that it is okay to feel lonely. It’s human emotion. It means we need some human contact. But, there are people who no matter what they do, still feel alone. And feeling alone in this big world full of people is a bad place to be! Something feels missing inside of us. So, we go out and find someone, anyone or anything to fill that up. That’s when the problems begin. Depending on how you choose to fill up that space can either help you on the path to finding your Power Within, or it can put you in a place that is very, very dangerous. Your mind!!!

The issue is that most of the people who are feeling alone or lonely don’t even know it. These feelings are replaced with other emotions. Some may be angry. You know those people, angry at the world. Some may be fearful. That friend of yours who never wants to venture out of her/his bubble. Some may be waaaayy to friendly. I’m sure everyone knows them! I’m talking about self esteem. That’s right, I said it. The self esteem word. The psychological mumbo jumbo word. Well, guess what, it’s true. I heard someone say the other day that the only place to get self esteem is from you. Hence, SELF esteem. How can we get that from ourselves if we are always seeking out approval from other people? How is it possible to find self esteem if we live and breath by what someone in our life thinks of us? Newsflash………we don’t!

Now, a lot of us have self esteem issue. I’m too fat, I’m too short, I’m too skinny, I’m too tall, I’m too old, I’m too young, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!!!

It wouldn’t be unusual to not like something about ourselves. It’s normal to want to improve on you, in fact, it’s healthy. But, these feelings don’t make or break decisions in life that would lead to happiness. I don’t skip the party because I haven’t lost those ten pounds yet. I wear what fits, doll myself up and have a blast. Because most people don’t notice what we think are flaws unless we notice them. Do you get where I am going with this? Yet some people just plain don’t like themselves. That is not good. That is not healthy. That is definitely not self esteem.

All right, let’s talk about how we can take some baby steps to change this. The first thing we should do is recognize that we are feeling these emotions. Are they misplaced? Are we putting these feelings of loneliness on some other issue in our lives? Many mothers whose husbands are out traveling all the time may not see this. They may start to search for something else in their life to fill up the space that not seeing or being with the person they love with something else. If this is the case, realize it and pay attention to how you can change they way you are behaving. Communication is key here so talk it out with him and find ways to connect although he isn’t there. Find your Circle of Sisterhood and connect with them. They will understand. I you don’t know what the C.O.S. is, the read my book.

For those of you, who continuously find yourselves involved with idiots, look at yourselves very closely. Many times, we seek out anyone to fill up that space. We are afraid to not be with someone. We need to feel needed. How many of you can identify with that??? Look around you. Look to those who are in your life that you’ve forgotten. Re-connect with family, and if you don’t have that outlet, then, I’ll say it again, find your Circle of Sisterhood and use them as a tools to move away form the negative influences in your life.

Well folks, today was a very long blog. I apologize for its length but this subject is something that needs to be addressed. If you find yourself nodding your head while you’ve read this, I say start moving. Read What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women and equip yourself with the tools (found in the book) to move toward the person you’ve always wanted to be or thought you were already.

My intention for you today is to stop seeking out approval from everyone else in your life. Start to see the beauty that is you. Look in the mirror (I’ve said this before) and tell yourself that you love you. Remember, feeling silly isn’t the worst thing that can happen in a day.

And always remember, we’re in this together.

Change your thoughts.......live in your power

2006-08-25T09:37:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. Yesterday didn’t turn out as bad as I expected. It became a sunny, beautiful day. I hope you all had the opportunity to feel some peace and enjoy the day.

Yesterday I was speaking with a woman who is facing a dilemma. She is living in a situation that is in contrast to where she would like to be. The problem is having deal with a person whom she does not meet eye to eye with. Consequently, they are at odds and she has no choice but to conform and bear it. Which leads me to my topic.

I truly feel that in order to feel joyous and let go of issues that you have no control over, you must, as our mothers always said, choose your battles. For many of us, this is very difficult as our first impulse is to defend ourselves. But as many of you know, this is not always conducive to a peaceful existence.

So how do we deal with situations such as these, without losing our cool and our peace of mind? Well, knowing the situation this woman is in, I gave her some suggestions that I thought would help her pull herself out of the moment without having to react. I suggested that when she starts to feel out of control, that she say one phrase in her mind that would pull her out of the situation mentally. We all do this from time to time, but how beneficial is this when you are letting your mind enter “rumble mode.” You all know what “rumble mode” is. It’s when something happens and you start to play out the situation in your head. You write a whole script in your mind about what has, can and will happen before it even occurs. The only place this thinking will lead you is into being powerless.

Finding your “Power Within” is closer than you think. When you can change your thinking on a dime, you have great power. Because isn’t it really how we think that leads us to how we feel? Isn’t it true that when we are in a “good mood” things just don’t bother us as much? Can you truly say that your little devil isn’t speaking to you most of the time? Evict that little devil, change your thoughts with positive intentions and you choose how your day will turn out. Nine times out of ten this works. I say 9 out of 10 because, face it, we are human and we are not perfect.

My intention for you today is to pay attention to how your thoughts lead you into negative space. Are you changing your thought so that you can feel empowered? Or are you intentionally writing a script that ends with you feeling awful?

And always remember, we are in this together!

So you Had a Bad Day.........

2006-08-24T08:01:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I woke up this morning and it's cloudy......looks like rain. I have to say that I don't like it when it rains. I appreciate the benefits from rain. My flowers look brighter, my vegetables grow, it cools down. The biggest perk is not having to go anywhere. But, there is something about the rain that affects me. I don't really know the scientific term but I call it "stuck." It seems that when the sun isn't out and I can't go outside and just sit for a moment without bringing an umbrella, I get annoyed. I feel like I have no energy and I just want to do nothing. I have all the tools from the book to get through the day joyfully, but I make a conscious choice to just be blah.

So, is it possible that we make the choice to be miserable? Absolutely! But guess what? Every once in a while, and I mean ONCE IN A WHILE, it is okay to just be blah.

When you begin using my system for living and really make all of the principles habit, it will become second nature to live a joyous life. You will find that your thinking will change and the tools you are learning now to get through the day will become normal. Sitting and being blah all day will be abnormal for you. It will be hard for you to stay in that place. But as I said it is okay to be blah once in a while. It reminds us to be grateful.

Right now, if you haven't read the book yet and are still half living, it is probably hard for you to comprehend what I am saying. Those of you who have read the book and are putting the principles into practice do understand.

Are you ready to begin living? Would you like to have the ability to make the choice of how your day will turn out? If you've answered yes to these questions then you should read the book. Order it and while you are waiting for it to arrive, surf through my previous blogs and begin using the tips that will help you start to understand you.

I promise that if you begin using the tools in "What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women" you will find your Power Within. You will feel empowered and know that how you deal with your emotions is a choice. Are you ready to make that choice?

My intention for you today is to make the choice to start living. Choose to live a joyous life.

And always remember, you are not alone!

How Passionate Are You Really?

2006-08-23T07:27:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone. Last night I had my very first radio interview. It was an online radio station called ArtistFirst Network. It was awesome. After it was over, I couldn't sleep. I was wondering why I was so pumped up. Was it because I was excited about getting the word out about the book? Was it because I am just a ham?

The latter could possibly be true, but the reason I think I was so excited was because I was given the opportunity to talk about the book. Prior to the book being published, I would talk a little about it. Since it was published, and I have been actively promoting it, I find that I feel fuller. I have finally figured out what it is. I am living in my passion. How many of you can truly and honestly say that what you are doing in your life is your passion. For you mothers out there, I know that your children are your passion, but what I am talking about here is slightly different.

Like I said on the show last night, my first and foremost priority is my children. I love them and welcome the opportunity to be with them. Yet, there was still a little something missing. There seemed to be a little part of me, that was empty. I started to wonder why I kept getting involved in silly things. Why was I an Ebay addict? Why did I decide that I was going to paint the house, landscape the backyard, open a consignment shop, etc. All of these ideas were actually wonderful, if that was what I was passionate about. But guess what folks, I wasn't.

So, all of these things that I was doing were not only silly, but they were taking away from my family. (Go back and read "on your mark, get set, obsess" blog.) I couldn't find balance because these things were not what I loved to do. They became chores that I had to finish. Yet, I never did. Which ultimately made me feel worse.

Now that I have written this book, I have finally found that piece of me that has been missing. The DJ last night asked me if I always liked to write. I exclaimed, "Yes!" I actually surprised myself. All of my teenage nights writing down my feelings came flooding back. I was hit like a lightening bolt. Of course I love to write. Why didn't I think of that sooner.

Well, life got in the way. All of my responsibilities, real or imagined, took away my focus on me. And isn't that what is truly the most important thing in my life? Me? Because, as I said last night, if I don't like me, nobody else will. If I am not complete, how can I help anyone else.

Do you know what your passion is? For those of you who have read the book, and are following the principles, take out your journals and begin to write about what positive things you loved to do before you became such responsible adults. What made you tingle? What made you feel invinsible? What were you really good at? Start to search for your passion. Try to remember the feeling. Would you like to feel that way again?

My intention for you today is to find your passion, whatever it may be. Take some time for yourself and remember how you used to feel when you were living in your passion.

And always remember, you are not alone.

You take care of you and I'll take care of me.........

2006-08-22T08:09:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone! I have a big question for you this morning. Have your coffee first. Sit down, and put your honesty cap on.

How are you at relationships? Do you feel like you are successful at them, or are you a candidate for "relationships for dummies?"

Well, it is very interesting to me when I speak to people who are having relationship problems. Now, don't get me wrong, everyone, at some time or another, has relationship problems. One of you is growing one way, the other is growing the other way. You may not be interested in the same things. You say potatoe and I say potato. You get my drift.

It is always a little sad when you realize that you and your significant other may not be as alike as you thought. In the beginning, it is always great. (and if it's not, you should rethink this person) You feel like you and them are like peas and carrots. You belong together. So, you get engaged, you plan the wedding, the honeymoon is always fun, etc. Living together is always cute. Your spouse is soooo nice to you. But then.............................

Reality hits like a meteor!!!!!!!

Bills, decisions, his friends, her friends, mother in laws, bad habits, toilet seats, hair in the drain, dishes in the sink, dirty socks on the floor, bathroom sink filled with perfume, etc. Guess what people, you've entered the married zone. Are you hearing me? Good. Keep reading.

At this point in the blog, I am going to stop and call my husband. I am going to thank him for his support, patience, tolerance, love, guidance and his plain leaving me alone when I need it. I am going to do this because, although we have had our difficult times, we've always pulled through. We have always been open to outside help. We look to those who have made it before us and let each other breathe. Divorce is not an option. We keep in mind, and sometimes have to remind each other, that we fell in love with each other for a reason. Most likely he'll reply, "thanks babe, but I'm at work right now?" Don't you just love 'em?

The title of the blog is "You take care of you, and I'll take care of me..." The words following the dots should read.........a survival guide for marriage.

If I had to emphasize one reason why we have stayed together for almost 10 years, (with 3 children ages 7,6,3) I would have to say that it would be giving each other the respect of being their own person. I am not saying that we never do things together, talk to each other or ask each other for advice. I am saying that through experience, working through issues, maturing and learning from others, we have learned how to take care of ourselves first. Keep in mind that while taking care of ourselves, we always have the others best interest in the forefront. Respect is key!

What I mean by taking care of myself, I mean not placing all of my fears, worries, decisions, self esteem issues, etc. on my husband to figure out. Then, when he doesn't tell me what I want to hear, I blame him for the problem. Saying that he never listens or doesn't understand me. We are different. I know that I need to take care of myself emotionally. I need to use all of the tools in my book to get through my day and be happy with the way I feel.

One of the biggest lessons I've ever learned was that I cannot control, I'll say it again, I cannot control, how my husband feels or what he thinks. When I finally learned this, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Because the truth is that 95% of the time (no scientific research conducted), I am not even in the equation. He is thinking something completely different from what I think he is thinking. Usually I just figure he is thinking about me. Why wouldn't he be? I am the center of his universe. Aren't I?

Ladies and Gentlemen. Start taking care of yourselves. Begin using these tips in my blogs to change. Notice the things in your life that hinder your progress and your ability to change. How long will it take for you to realize that everyone else in your life is not the problem? Noone in the world can make you feel bad if you don't allow them to. You have the Power. Discover it, grab hold of it and start to change. You can absolutely do it and I can help.

My intention for you today is to look at the relationship you are in. Is it fulfilling? I don't want you to think you should be dancing on a cloud, but you should at least be skipping! Ask yourself the questions from the beginning of the blog. Write down your answers. In a week, answer those questions again. SEE IF THERE IS A CHANGE!!!!!

And always remember, You are Not Alone.

Visit my website and come discover your Power Within!

How are you seeing things?

2006-08-21T08:55:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone! It's been a couple of days since I blogged last. I have a question for you all. Are you using these daily tips in your life? Are you beginning to see the obstacles in your lives that have been preventing you from being happy?

Every day brings a new issue. We can be the most spiritual, well rounded people on the planet, but life still happens. The world still turns, and we have the choice on a daily basis to pay attention to our worlds or to ignore them.

Some say ignorance is bliss. I say that sometimes, and I mean SOMETIMES, it is good to turn off the world and just be. But, if we turn off the world consistently, we begin to live in a false reality. It's a wonderful thing to be able to live without letting the outside world affect us. But, at what cost? We begin to live in a bubble. And, as we all know, bubbles burst. When that happens, all of the things we have been shielding ourselves from come crashing in. (Remember the tire scenario in a past blog?)

Through my system for living, in What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, we can live every day, knowing how to deal with each situation that is presented. You are given the tools to work through issues whether they are big or small. All of the blogs I have been writing are reflected in the book and are imperative to living in your power.

So, how are you viewing the issues that are presenting themselves? Are you looking at every situation with the victim mentality? Or, are you seeing these situations as an opportunity for change?

I'll tell you my situation today. I woke up this morning with ear pain and everything I hear through my right ear is amplified and echoed. I spent the weekend filming and editing a movie with my 7 year old son. My first thought was, "why is this happening to me." Immediately, and I mean immediately, my little devil started talking to me. That victim that I used to be jumped up and started talking to me. It was screaming! If I continued listening to that voice, my day would have been filled with aggravation towards my children, because my tolerance was nil. I would not do anything productive or necessary to get through the day and today I wouldn't be living in my power. I would have fallen victim to circumstance.

Because of my book and my system for living, when that thought came to mind, "why is this happening to me", I immediately thought to myself, "thank god it isn't a ringing in my ear. That would be much worse." So, because of the tools I use to process my thoughts and emotions on a different level, and because I live by the tools I've laid out in the book and am consistently working on myself to live in my power, my day will be filled with living in the here and now. Being grateful for what is and not what might be.

Consequently, I called the doctor, made an appointment, and will find out my fate which will probably be some antibiotics and eardrops.

My point today is, that every day we make the choice of how we are going to live. Are we going to live in the reality of what is what? What is real? Knowing, what we can do to change our thoughts and circumstances.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that the thoughts and old tapes don't run. My mental process runs on the downhill slope. If I let myself slide down with it, that is the result I will have in my life. What I am saying is that by living by the tools I have acquired and laid out in the book, I am able to change the thought pattern immediately. Sometimes it takes a little more work, but it is all up to me.

Do you want to live in your power today, or do you want to fall victim to your old thinking? That same thinking that has got you where you are today? As Dr. Phil would say, "How's that workin' for ya?" Remember, the problem isn't you, it's your thinking!

Buy the book and begin to live today. If you can't afford the book, email me and we can talk. My intention is to help others find and begin to walk the path I've found.

Oh, and don't forget to tune in online to Artist First Radio Network Tuesday night at 8:00PM. I am being interviewed about the book. There you will hear what I think, how I sound (remember I have a Bronx accent), and how my life has been blessed by experience. You'll be glad you did.

My intention for you all today is to live in the real world. A world which is not filled with fear, pain and suffering, but a world that is filled with opportunity, love and beauty. I want you to live in the latter and find you power within!

And always remember, you are NOT alone!

Why can't I control this?

2006-08-18T16:26:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I'm very late writing my blog today. I had to do, what I had to do! Clean! Yuck........Anyway, my house is sparkly clean and now I am doing my most favorite thing, blogging. How many of you get super jammed up when things happen in your life that you have absolutely no control over? Do you find your mind racing in a thousand different directions conjuring up every possible negative scenario? Are you human?

If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions, then you are right where you're supposed to be. As humans, it is normal for us to slip into the negative SOMETIMES! If you find that you are slipping into this place a lot, then you need to look at what it is that you are not seeing. What is it about yourself that needs to CONTROL EVERYTHING? That's right people, I said it. You might be a control freak. I'm sorry to say it ladies, but a lot of us are.

I would have to say that it most definately comes from childhood. When we were children, many of us felt like we had no control over anything. We began to do things that we could control. Sometimes, it was abuse of a substance, shopping, eating, or not eating, and any other negative thing you can think of.

On the other hand, some of us out there actually went the positive route. We decided to take charge of things and join a sport or get a hobby, some played music, etc. The course we decided, whether we knew it or not, to take tells us a lot about our personalities and would probably describe why we are the way we are today. Just look at how you deal with situations. When something happens that you cannot control, do you freak out and take the negative route, or do you look at it in a positive light, knowing that everything will, in the end, be okay? Are you a glass half full or half empty person?

I know, I know, you've heard this all before, but have you changed? Because that's the really important thing. It's not just knowing what the issue is, it's changing it. Of course, knowledge is a huge part of changing, but what I think, and this is my personal opinion, changing is the real important part. Because I know plenty of people who know what their problem is, but are too full of fear, or too ignorant, or both, to make the change. Remember what I've said in past blogs and in my book, everything is a choice. Noone can make the choice for you, and noone can stop you from making the change.

Are you ready for change today? If so, purchase What A Difference A Day Makes and find your Power Within. Go to my website and sign up for my newsletter.

And remember, you are not alone.

Are you enjoying yourself?

2006-08-17T06:26:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone! I wanted to answer a question that many of you have been asking me. No, I am not up at 3:00AM writing my blog. My timestamp is on Pacific time. So, add three hours. I am not that devoted!!! (Ha! Ha!) Back to today's topic.

How many of you can honestly say that you enjoy your day? By this I mean, can you pick out one time a day that you would write down in your journal so you don't forget the feeling? How long has it been since you've thought to yourself, "I wouldn't trade my life with anyone!"
(Remember the grass is always greener blog?)

Well, I ask these questions because sometimes, we are so caught up in getting things done to make our lives better, we forget to enjoy the lives we have. Now this is one of the main points I try to get across in the book, but how many of you can identify with that? If you get what I'm saying say out loud, "I get it!"

One of the things I love to do most, and don't do often enough, is laugh. Now I don't mean a little giggle, I mean a deep, down in the belly, tears streaming, laugh. When was the last time you did that?

I have at least two friends that I can either call or get together with that can make me laugh like that. There are not many people who can, but you must know one. Some of you who are reading this can laugh like this all the time and to you I say, "Right on!!!!!" Some may say you are silly, but I say you've got the right idea. For those of you who find it difficult to pull this laugh out, I say start searching. Seek out those who you have lost touch with for one reason or another and become re-acquainted. For the women, these people can become part of your circle.

If you don't know someone who can do this, you must have seen a movie, or a comedian or something in your lifetime that brought this laught up.

Find it! I'll say it again. Find it!!!!!!

When I laugh this way, some calling it being hysterical (the good hysterical), I can actually feel something being released inside of me. And, when I am done, I can use a nap. Because it releases stress. It releases a build up of bottled up stress that is stuck deep down in you belly. (For lack of a better word, I told you I'm not a doctor)

You've all heard of Laugh Therapy, well let's call this Kerri Therapy. Find this laugh..... and What A Difference........it will make. Enjoying yourself is not difficult to do if you notice what is around you.

For those of you with children, just watch them. Watch them enjoy everything they engage in. (not the screaming parts) When you see them in the midst of a good time, shake off the age thing and join in. Become the old you for a few minutes. Be silly. Let go of what you been tainted with as an adult and dance. You will be amazed at the feeling. You will be enchanted again and find your inner child. (Uh oh, I used a psychological word!!!) You know what I mean. You'll have fun!!

Read the blogs from this week. Start using the daily tips in your life. Keep a journal. Call your sisters, or for the guys, men. You can find your power within. You can feel alive. Truly alive. Becoming willing to change, and you will notice the difference in your life.

My intention for you all today is to find that laugh! Find it and revel in it. You'll be glad you did.

And always remember, you are not alone!

Don't fix it if it ain't broken!

2006-08-16T10:10:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone! Sorry my blog is late today. I tried doing something on my computer last night and screwed it up somehow. I finally got it going, which leads me to my topic today.

Did you ever notice that we are always trying to change things that are already working fine? Why do I have to make my computer wireless when I'm only sitting two feet away from the connection? Do we do these things because we are bored? Do we do these things because we just like to shake things up?

These may seem like difficult questions, but they are actually quite simple if we are able to look at ourselves honestly. Sometimes I find that I change things up just to bring a little chaos into my life. I thrive on drama. (Many of you can identify!)

The problem is that when we are caught up in the drama, we can't see it. We can't see that we are purposely bringing problems into our lives. This becomes toxic. (Look at old blogs to read about toxic people) It is absolutely clear to me and to others who have read my book, that when we are missing something, whatever that may be, we focus on other things.

If I am afraid to do something, whether it be succeed with the book, or achieve something that my old tapes tell me I shouldn't, I do things subconsciously to screw it up. I focus on things that, in the grand scheme of things, really don't matter. Inadvertently not focusing on what I should be. Psycho mumbo jumbo, etc.

Just know this! If you are doing things that are making you crazy, stop, sit, listen, look around you, and realize what it is, and STOP IT!!!!! Turn the TV off! Shut down the computer! Cancel some of those playdates! Don't go to TARGET! Read my book! (a little promotion)

Just be! I'll say it again. Just Be!!!!!!!

I want you to make these declarations while looking in the mirror! Say each three times!

Say this out loud, "I am what I am!" (your not popeye)
Say this out loud, "It is what it is!"
Say this out loud, "Everything will work out!"

Whenever you find yourself stirring up the pot, make the declarations again, knowing that they are true. Believe them! And, if you can't believe them now, keep saying them. One day you will wake up and say to yourself, "I am what I am," and you will know intuitively, that it is true and that you love yourself.

My wish for you all today is to be happy in your skin.
Remember, you are not alone!

Do you have the music in you?

2006-08-15T08:08:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. Hope this finds everyone well and feeling fine. Today I was talking to someone who was having trouble letting go of certain feelings. Whenever I counsel someone on this topic, I always stress the importance of emptying out the garbage in their heads. It is so important. But, some people have a harder time than others doing this. Why can some of us find release and others cannot? It's the million dollar question! Nonetheless, it is imperative!

Have you ever noticed how music affects you? Everyone has that certain song that, when they hear it, can bring up an emotion they haven't felt in years. I know that I am extremely affected by music. Maybe because I am a musician. Maybe because I've always used music as a tool to feel. Anyway, music can be the key to unlock your "stuff."

Many times when I am doing some mundane activity, or just in the house alone, etc, I will turn on the radio or a cd and the music will instantly lift my spirit. On the other end of that, if I am sad, I will turn on some music and it will help me to release the sadness. Music will change the mood of any child. Here's a tip! If your kids are driving you nuts, turn on some silly songs (as my neice Ariana calls them) and watch your children transform. Join them! Dance around for a while and don't worry about the blinds being open. You'll be revived.

Today I want you to turn on some music you haven't listed to in a while. Dance around or just sit and listen. Notice how it affects you and remember to use this tool the next time you need it. Just remember, you are not alone.

Should I feel this?

2006-08-12T08:03:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone. I haven't blogged in a couple of days. It's been rough, but I am moving forward with my life now having lost my brother and know that he is in a better place.

Have you ever noticed how sometimes when we are feeling pain that we have no control over, we will try anything to change the feeling. Isn't just feeling the emotion enough? Why do we deflect and try to be what everyone else wants us to be? Could this pose a problem? I say yes!

The problem is that while we are trying to be "strong" and continually stuffing these feelings, they are building up inside of us and as we all know, eventually they will come out. And when they come out, we may not recognize what it is. Feeling sadness, anger, fear, etc is extremely important. Giving ourselves the time to feel is giving ourselves a gift. It softens us and helps us to feel human. I also think it changes us just enough to make us stronger and enables us to be able to live our lives honestly and openly.

It is okay to cry! I'll say it again. It is okay to cry!! I think that tears from the soul slowly deplete us of the junk and garbage that is stuck. Picture a tire filled with air. As you slowly let the air out, it softly relieves the pressure that has built up so that we can work on the tire, patch it up and refill it with new clean air so that it is strong again and can hold up the vehicle that it supports. When there is a blow out, all hell breaks loose. Things are torn and shattered and that vehicle is damaged beyond repair. Now, think of this in terms of our bodies. When we slowly release the pressure of all of these emotions we are feeling, through tears or words, etc, we are given the opportunity to build ourselves up again with new, fresh, positive things that will make us stronger and enable us to carry ourselves (our vehicles) in a whole new light. We are better. When we have a blow out, what happens? We are thrown into a place that we may not be able to recover from. Now, I think there is always able to recover, but why do we place ourselves in that situation in the first place.

Listen to me and listen to your body. Follow the principles in my book, What a Difference A Day Makes, and learn how to relieve the pressure that has been building up for so long. Give yourselves the gift of feeling. Remember, you are not alone.

Today I want you to listen to your bodies. If you are experiencing emotional pain or are just plain jammed up, begin the process of relieving your pressure. Shed some tears. Feel good that you are being good to yourselves, and be proud of yourselves for being honest. I promise that you will begin to feel better.

Sadness Overwhelmes Me Today

2006-08-07T05:54:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone. Sadness Overwhelmes me today. We lost my brother Billy yesterday. He leaves a wife, a 3 year old child and a very sad family. His time had come and despite all of his efforts to stay on this earth, God wanted him back.

How do we deal with this sadness? First comes grief, that's where I am right now, next I expect anger. But who am I going to be angry with. Certainly not God. Certainly not my brother. Who do I place blame on? Because isn't that what we do when we have no control over circumstance. Am I mourning for myself. That I will never see or speak to my oldest brother again who was full of love for his child and wife. What will I tell his little girl? How will his wife go on without him?

This is a tough one.

I think we create bubbles around our lives, always feeling for those who lose loved ones, but this is my first time I've lost someone so close. Do I think he will be okay? Absolutely! He is in the light, explaining himself at the gate. If I know Billy, he and St. Peter are having a good chuckle. But what happens to all those who mourn him. We are not chuckling now, but, I am sure that sooner than later, my thoughts of sadness and pain will be replaced with fond memories, gratitude and love for my brother who, despite his drawbacks was a wonderful person.

I write my blog today because I know that if I put my feelings out there in the universe, my higher power will grab on to them and take them. I send my love on the wings of the eagle up to Heaven where my brother will grab hold of them and wait patiently for us all to meet him there one day. He will walk with me as I live out this wonderful life that I have been blessed with. He will guide me on the path of love and light as I so desperately try to guide others. He will console me tomorrow when I sit with my family grieving. Although he will be lifeless in sight, his spirit will be dancing beside me. Making silly noises and faces. Doing the things I will remember him for.

I am sad, there is no doubt. But I know that I will be okay and that all of us who will forever miss Billy will be alright. After all, for us, life goes on! How will we choose to move forward? Will we live in a blanket of fear and self doubt? Afraid to love so when we lose it doesn't affect us? Or will we choose to put ourselves out there and give all of the love and gifts that we've been blessed with, taking the chance that we may lose again? I choose the latter. Because I choose to be human today. I choose to soar with the eagles. I hope you all can join me there in that place of living.

I thank you all for your support and good wishes. I thank my God for his gifts. And I say a final farewell to my brother who I loved so much. He always loved to hear me sing. This morning I sat on my back deck and said, "Well Bill, now I will sing to you whenever you want." All of my songs are for him. He's in the arms of the angels. He's finally found comfort there.

Are you feeling Grateful today?

2006-08-05T05:57:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone. I normally don't blog on Saturday because I am spending time with my family. But, I woke up this morning at 5:00AM and couldn't help but think about being grateful. Yesterday, an article was in my local newspaper about my book What A Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. The name of the paper is The Newtown Bee. Now, it wasn't the New York Times or Oprah, but nonetheless, I was blown away. This reporter, Shannon Hicks, put so much heart and thought into this article. It was a whole page in the paper! It spoke about the book, my blogs, and even my seminars that I eventually would like to get together for women. (and men if they would like)

I am not so much tooting my horn about the article as I am feeling obligated to get this overwhelming feeling of gratitude out there in the universe. Sometimes, we don't recognize that when we are feeling so full of positive thoughts, that we should share them. Because isn't that how this universe works. I feel good, I share it with someone, then they feel good. They share it with someone, etc, etc, etc. You get the picture?

I couldn't help but think about something that happened the other day. Someone asked me the question; What are you truly grateful for today? Now, there are so many things for me to be grateful for I couldn't even list them all. But amongst all things that flooded my mind, the one thing that stood out was that I was grateful the most, at that very moment, for the opportunity of going into my daughter's room every morning, laying down next to her, and singing to her until she wakes up. That's what I was grateful for. My heart swells at this moment while I repeat the words. It's such a miracle to have this gift, actually three little gifts, in my life plus my husband. I'm just a kid from the Bronx that hung out on the street thinking of ways to make a little money. I never could have imagined in my wild dreams that my life would be what it is today.

You see, anyone can have a good life. Anyone, no matter what their circumstances, can stand up, shake off the dust, get rid of the garbage in their heads, move forward and be happy. I know some of you are gagging right now, but for those of you who understand what I am talking about, know!

Well, I think I've said enough for a Saturday morning. I hope you all have a safe and healthy weekend. Thanks for reading. I look forward to blogging again on Monday.

Happy Saturday!!!!!

Moving Furniture Around?

2006-08-04T08:03:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone. Some of you may be viewing this blog from other countries or other parts of the US, but I have to say, here in Newtown CT it is HOT!!!!! The last couple of days have been brutal. Even my kids don't want to go outside in the pool. (my little blow up one in the backyard) It was too hot to even get in!

Well, anyway, I found myself sitting at this computer WAY TOO MUCH! So, I decided to go through the house and de-clutter. Getting rid of all the, excuse my slang, crap in the house gives me a feeling of freedom. It may sound silly, but I know that some, if not most, can identify with that.

Filling up those bags to donate or just trash really feels good. It's very similar to when we dump all of our bad thoughts and feelings out on someone who will listen (Circle of Sisterhood?), or dump it on a page in our journal (Journaling For Sanity?), or give it to our higher power (Meditating for Wisdom?). Remember, put it in a bubble and let it float away!

So, I decided that my kids were watching too much television. I proceeded to move the tv out of the living room into the little tiny room at the end of the house. And, guess what? Now, they're all sitting in that little room on the end of the house. Well, at least the living room will stay clean. I then decided that my two girls, Anna (6) and Charlotte(3), would probably sleep better in their room if they were in the same bed. So, I pushed their two little twin beds together. They loved it! All of a sudden, they thought the giant bed was a trampoline! So much for sleep.

The reason I am writing all of this is that sometimes we have to do what we can do to keep our sanity. Whether it be listening to music and dancing, or cleaning out the linen closet, or going through all of those photographs in those boxes. You get my drift? Either way we can take pride in our homes and know that we are doing something positive, however small it may seem.

Today is a light blog day. Take it easy on yourself. It's Friday and you made it through the week, hopefully with a new outlook on your daily life. For those of you who bought the book and are working through it applying the principles in you're lives, Right on! If you have any questions, or don't understand something, email me. I'll be happy to help you out. Remember, we are all in this together.

Have a great weekend. Talk to you all again on Monday!

Whose Voice is that?

2006-08-03T07:26:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone. Another day, another blog. I hope you are all enjoying these blogs everyday. Remember to let me know what you think and if there is anything you would like me to focus on one day.

How many of you realize that everything we do and everything we say and how we carry out our lives and days is very closely related to our childhoods? On the flip side, many of us do the opposite of anything that remotely resembles childhood.

It's a very difficult thing to shake off the dust of our pasts.
We all have that little piece of our personalities that we try to avoid. Mine is my tough exterior. Growing up in the Bronx, NY, I learned at an early age to be tough. I refused to let anyone get to me. If I cried, I was angry. I never allowed myself to feel. Crying was for the weak and I was tough and strong and........very lonely!

That was the end result of all my efforts to be someone nobody would mess with. As I got older, I started to realize that all of these facades I had put into place in my life were not helping me. Oh no, they were preventing me from becoming the beautiful women that I could become. Holding on to my old ways created a sort of shield from people getting close to me. I had to change.

Isn't it true for many of us that when we are hurt emotionally, that we sort of regress into a child. Whether it be hiding in your room or turning off the offender? When my children would be naughty, I would innately handle them the way I would have handled a bully as a child. I would try to scare them into submitting to my demands. This didn't last because no matter how hard I tried to be the old me, my children loved me still. That unconditional love that only a child can give a mother. It softened me. It made me see what I was doing. And guess what? It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

That voice in my head, little Kerri, hiding in her room, was forced to come out and be mom. I was forced to realize that I am mommy now. The hiding doesn't work anymore. The tough act doesn't work anymore. The loving and caring and nurturing Kerri absolutely works. Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way a pushover, but I am a little easier to nudge.

I am talking about this today because I want you all to take a good look at yourselves and see how you react to situations. When someone hurts you, do you retreat, or do you embrace? Do you embrace the situation as a learning lesson. Do you take the opportunity to say to yourself, "why is this so painful?" "Why am I so effected by this?" What part of your personality is still so fragile? When you find the answer to this question, embrace it. Find the root and yank it out of the ground.

We all have skeletons in our closets. Some we can see and some are buried way in the back. Unfortunately, we don't decide when they will emerge. All I know is that when they do, and they do, I am going and have been ready to face them. Will you? This is where your Circle of Sisterhood, Journaling, and Meditation, etc will make the difference. All of these principle outlined in my book are what is going to make the difference. When we clear out the garbage that we've been holding on to for so long, we are able to plant new trees. We are able to watch them grow and know that our children will nurture them and take care of them. Because at the very end, isn't it our children who are most important. Because, remember, they will become us. Do you want your daughters to become who you are now, or become the empowered women that you have the ability to become.

You have the "Power Within" to be the women you want your daughters to be. Come join the journey with me and together we will never look back.Have a great day and remember, you are not alone.

Why do we care so much?

2006-08-02T07:56:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that a lot of things that we do in life and the decisions we make are based on what other people might think? When did we become so concerned with other people's opinions? Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Well, I've blogged about this before and I am going to do it again because it seems to be a recurring discussion amongst the women I am in contact with.

I think it can all be chalked up to experience. When I first had children and went out into public, I definately cared about what other women were thinking. The crooked looks and the awful stares. I would constantly second guess myself and actually get angry with my children for the scenes they were creating. How ridiculous is that? Caring about what other people, people I don't know and probably will never see again, think about how I am raising my children. I cannot press upon you all how important it is to believe in yourselves. If you know in your heart that you are doing what is right, whether it be with your family or anything else, you must consistently remind yourself of this. Something that helps me with this is making a statement to myself. Not out loud because then people will think you're crazy too. I will say to myself, "Will this matter tomorrow or even in 15 minutes?"

Now if you know deep down in your heart that you are not doing the right thing related to your children and such, then you should read yesterday's blog about honesty. Some of us find it much easier just to let things slide, but unfortunately, that becomes a habit and spins out of control. Remember, everything you do on a consistent basis whether it be action or thought becomes habit. Habits are fairly easy to put into place but are very difficult to break. All of you smokers out there understand that.

One of the best ways to start to become more confident in your convictions related to people pleasing is to do something you dread and make it fun. Sit on that park bench with your kids running wild and enjoying themselves. When you get one of those dreaded looks or comments, just smile and say, "kids will be kids." Or, if you're in the supermarket and your child is a little bit excited, look at the other mother's or that old lady who forgot what it was like to be a mother with small children and say, "Aren't they wonderful?"

For those of you who don't have children and and are still in the "single" world, wear that dress that you love but you think everyone else won't like. Turn up your music and don't worry about the neighbors. Jump for Joyfullness and truly feel it in your bones because remember, we all have the "Power Within" to become whoever and whatever we want to be.

Today I want you to be confident and remember to smile at yourself in the mirror. Listen to some music you haven't listened to in a long time. Have that Frappucino.

You'd be amazed at how others will admire your sense of confidence. But we don't care about what others think anymore, Right?

Is honesty the best policy?

2006-08-01T06:39:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone! Is honestly the best policy? I have to say that throughout my book, this is the most important. One of the reasons people find it so difficult to change aspects of their lives or how they are living it is because it takes brutal honesty to look at yourself and accept what the truth is. Let me give you a little example of what I am talking about.

A while back, I started really getting into Ebay. It started out small and before you knew it, I was selling everything in the house. Next, I started going to stores and buying things on sale and reselling them. It was an all day, every day activity that took up all of my time. I figured the kids could fend for themselves since I was "working." At night, when my husband came home, I would be clicking away on the laptop. Click, click, clickety click. That made for a great relationship.

Finally, one day, I stopped and looked around and said, "What the hell am I doing?" My house was like a thrift shop. My music room was jammed with used and new clothes. I had become a pack rat. Needless to say, I had to be brutally honest with myself. A change had to be made! I had to ask myself, "Why did I let this get so out of control?" After some honest soul searching and multiple donations to Goodwill, I realized that I was trying to fill something up inside of me that was missing. Now, when a mother says that there is something missing inside, she feels like she is a bad mother. Guilt! How could I feel like I was missing something when I have such a beautiful family? The truth is that I am not just a mother! I am a wife, sister, aunt, daughter, and woman. It's a difficult thing to accept.

Change is necessary. Change is good. Change is the hardest thing to accomplish.

What I am saying is that if we are honest with ourselves about who we really are, wonderful things can emerge. You will see life with a new perspective. When you read "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women" remember that the one constant is to be completely honest. In the beginning it may be difficult, but as with all change and all things we do on a daily basis, it will become habit.

Today I want you to pay attention to how honest you are with yourself. When you find yourself settling for a situation or making up excuses, look at yourself. Think about how honest you are being. You'll see the difference!

The Discomfort Zone

2006-07-31T07:39:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend. We got together with friends and went to the ocean. It was great. I couldn't help but find myself thinking of this chapter (The Discomfort Zone) in my book. I'll get back to that in a minute.

One of my favorite parts of the day is at night. I get into bed, the AC is on (in summer), lay my head down on my favorite pillow, and watch what I want to watch on the boob tube. This is my comfort zone. But, sometimes, I get into bed, get all comfortable, and the remote is on the dresser. The effort it takes to get me up out of bed to get that remote is remarkable. I almost consider not getting up because I am sooooo comfortable. I mention this because I want to illustrate the difference between comfort and discomfort in my life. I could very well just lay there and not get that remote, but that would sort of ruin my favorite part of the day. Or, I could get up (it takes 3 seconds) get that remote and be in total bliss.

How many of you see this situation in your lives? How many of you would rather stay in your little box, never venturing out to do something that would clearly be more uplifting, because it may take a little more effort? I am guilty of this. Back to this weekend.

I originally said I didn't want to go to the ocean because it was just easier to go to the lake. The lake is 15 minutes away. I wouldn't have to pack as much and I would feel "safer" being close to home. Knowing fully well that everyone in my family would have a much better time at the ocean. So, I made up some excuses why it was better to go to the lake. But guess what? My belly barometer started going. I knew deep down in my belly that I was disappointing my family. How selfish. All because I wanted to stay in my "comfort zone."

So......I decided to suck it up and take that two hour trip to the ocean. And what to my wondering eyes did appear, but the beautiful ocean so clean and so clear. We had a fantastic time. I stepped out of my box and realized that although I wanted to take the easier path, the more difficult (or so I thought) road turned out to be a much better decision. Everyone in my family had a great time, including myself, and we all lived a little better that day. And, isn't that what is what we are all seeking? To have better lives, full of joy and passion. Not just staying in our little comfortable boxes, never making any effort to try something new or different, even though we would like to?

Today, I want you to look inside yourselves and notice how many times you make the decision to stay in your "comfort zone." You may be surprised that it happens pretty often. Making that phone call to someone you've been avoiding, go for that walk that you've been avoiding, telling yourself how beautiful you are in that mirror.

My wish for you today is to live just a little more. Make that effort and you will notice the change. I promise!

Standing by your convictions?

2006-07-28T07:10:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Everyone. Sometimes I find that I second guess my decisions related to the children, my life path, my hair color, etc. As a mother, it easy to wonder, "Am I doing this right?" When we are engulfed with internet, television, radio and press telling us the way we should be raising them, it's hard not to want to be like everyone else. I found that when I first moved from the Bronx, NY to Connecticut, that this was happening. All of a sudden I was around all of these women who had opinions about everything. Although I was happy to have women to talk to about the kids, I found myself changing the way I did things knowing what the right way was.

What I am saying is that no matter what I do to be socially and politically correct, I always go back to the way I know is right. It's wasted energy on my part. The conclusion I've come to after many different paths is that I must stand by my convictions. Mothers know innately what they need to do to raise their families, but we get clouded by all of the others that know better.

Take this book. I know that their will be women out there who love it, and those that may hate it. But, if I stand by my convictions and the principles I use in this book, I will continue to feel powerful as a woman. And guess who will learn that they must do what they know is right? My children. That's right! They learn by example. We think they don't know what's going on, but they absolutely know. And they follow. I can hear it in the way that they interract with each other. I can hear my words coming out of their mouths. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I shudder. But, guess what, I am not perfect and neither are they.

Today, I want you to think about something that you've been on the fence about. What decision or change have you been wanting to make, that you haven't made because it may not be "right." Follow your heart and know that you have the power within to do what you know is right. Remember, we all make mistakes. So if your decision isn't the right one, well, that's the great thing about life. We have the control to change certain things. So, go on, do it!

Journling For Sanity!

2006-07-27T07:02:00.000-04:00

There are many different ways for us to relieve stress in our daily lives. Some people choose negative ways to do this. They either drink, smoke, shop, etc. But, what are some of the positive ways that we can do this? What are some of the ways we can get the junk that's holding us back from realizing true happiness (or at least feeling okay) for that day?

For most of us, our lives are very busy and we don't have or make a lot of free time to do the things that we really like. For instance, some of you may like to paint, play music, scult, run, etc. But, in those moments when I feel like my head is going to pop off my body, I can't say, "Wait kids. I'm going to play my guitar for an hour!" What I've learned is that writing is a great tool to relieve my stress and get rid of my junk.

Writing or journaling is a wonderful way to let go of your nonsense. You don't have to write a chapter or sound eloquent. You don't have to make a grand statement or be politically correct. Let's face it, I am not Maya Angelou. But, I am Kerri and when Kerri is stuff up with feelings, she writes. This especially works when you are going through a really hard time. Ladies, you get my drift.

For today, I want you to just get a little writing pad or even post its. When you start to get jammed up, just write down the feeling. If something wonderful happens, write it down.

I used to write things on little pieces of paper and stick them in my jewelry box. A few months ago, I was cleaning out some clutter and I found a note I wrote about 3 years ago. My little son Domenic and his sister Anna (a year apart in age) were playing. My son decided to get them yogurt (I had no idea) and he began to call her. I came out of my room and found two little cups of yogurt with two little spoons sitting on the table. My son was standing next to Anna trying to wake her up. My heart swelled with joy, love, pride and sadness for my little son who wanted to share a snack with his little sister. Although this may seem small and not that big a deal, for me it was wonderful. So.........I wrote it down. Now, when I am a little angry at those kids who are now 7 and 6 and by the way, I have a 3 year old also, and they're screaming at each other for the remote, I think of those two little cups of yogurt and I smile.

Take some time for yourself. It will change your day, your life, and the lives of those around you.

A little review...........

2006-07-26T07:07:00.001-04:00

Good morning. I was sitting here this morning thinking about this blog. When I began writing it, it was solely for the purpose of selling my book. But, in the short time that I've been posting it, it has become something else. It is no longer just a sales tool. It has become a part of my morning routine. I look forward to reaching out to all of you that have come here every day and read. I wake up and think about what is on my mind, and am able to write about it. What a beautiful thing!

I am blessed to be able to begin my day with positive thoughts. Positive thoughts will follow you throughout the day. I look at the title of the book, What a difference a day makes, and wonder how true. Think about what was consuming you yesterday. How are you feeling today? Are you feeling the same way? Or, have you been able to put that aside and start new today. Will you call someone in your life this morning who is not toxic? Have you been listening to people instead of just talking? Have you looked at your spouse in a different way, knowing that we are different? Have you looked in the mirror, every morning, and said "I am beautiful!" Did you write down you successes last night focussing on your wins?

All these tools I've been listing in my blogs are your ticket to finding your power within. You are capable of becoming everything you've always wanted to be. Don't be afraid! We are all worth taking a few minutes a day to work on ourselves.

I truly appreciate all of your support and am learning more about myself every day. I am very grateful for this opportunity.

On your mark, get set, Obsess!

2006-07-25T07:02:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well......So I've written a book and it was published. At times in my life I realize that although good things happen, the rest of our lives cannot fall at the wayside. I've been so engrossed in the book lately that I noticed the floor has gotten dirty, the clothes are backing up and I have a little less patience for my beautiful kiddies. What's happened? I'll tell you......obsession!

What to do, what to do, what to do? The most important thing in life is balance. What is balance? It's the place where we feel that everything is even. That all of the aspects of our lives are being taken care of. Or at least paid attention to. How do we know how much is enough to give. Well, we know. I call it the belly barometer. When my belly barometer sounds off, then I know something isn't right.

The hardest part of it all is to remember that we have good intentions. These are all good things. Take a step back and look at the big picture. Refocus, and move forward with what needs to be done. It isn't that difficult to reset the balance. It takes a little courage and a whole lot of honesty with yourself.

Revisit the places that have been forgotten for a while. Understand that you are human, and are allowed to get a little wacky every once in a while. But, above all, continue to know that you are yourself for a reason. You are loved for a reason. You are happy or unhappy for a reason. The most wonderful thing is that we have the ability to change many things in our lives. Although, it's the things we cannot change that kill us.

In my book I talk about focussing once a day on the things that we were successful at that day. To realize that no matter how small the achievement was that day, it was a success. For some of us, that can be a million dollar business deal, and for others it can be mopping the floor or reading to the kids.

Tonight, I want you to think about five things you did today, no matter how small, that you were proud of. Write them down and understand that we are all successful every day. If you do this every night for a week, you will begin to feel your power within. Because remember, we are all powerful, some of us just need to tap into it.

You will begin to see the small accomplishments however unimportant they may
seem to others. Remember, we are not measuring ourselves up to someone else. We are looking only at ourselves. Be careful not to compare yourself to anyone. It won’t work. Find what is important in your life. You will find that you will be happier with yourself. You will be brighter and see more light in your life.
Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women"

Do you love yourself?

2006-07-24T08:07:00.000-04:00

Good Morning everyone. This morning I woke up and thought about how far I've come with my self esteem. Not too long ago, if I walked past a mirror, I didn't want to look at it because I would be disgusted. I found that I was constantly comparing and sizing myself up against other women.

As a little girl, I always wanted to look like someone else. I wanted to look like a little princess, but every time I had my picture taken, they said, "look at the camera and smile freckleface." Constantly being compared to Pippi Longstocking started to get old pretty fast. So as a child my discomfort and failure to see the true beauty within me began.

The journey to become someone else other than myself was long and tiring. This feeling about myself was reflected in any relationship I was in with a man. So I don't need to tell anyone that they didn't last. One of the greatest lessons I've learned through writing this book was that I will never be able to love anyone until I love myself. There are three things that needs to be recognized if we are to be truly happy with ourselves. 1) I know who I am. 2) I know who I can be. 3) I know who I will never be.

Knowing who I am has brought me a new freedom. I may be a few pounds overweight. I may look a little older than I'd like, but I am me. And I am surrounded by people who love me. When they look at me, they don't cringe, so why would I do that to myself.

Today I would like you to look in the mirror and say out loud, "I am beautiful." Do it every day for 90 days. You will find that after a few days, you will begin to giggle after you say it and feel good. Make it a habit of liking yourself and eventually you will love yourself.

When we declare our intentions to the world, we put those words out into the
universe. They become real. We hear them and process them.
Eventually we believe them. When that happens, we have raised ourselves up
a notch on the ladder of life.
Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women.

Let's Talk About Sex! (sort of)

2006-07-21T07:23:00.000-04:00

Good Morning everyone. Have you ever wondered to yourself why your husband is so miserable? He doesn't listen to you. He doesn't remember anything you say to him. He doesn't seem to be interested. Well, I have news for all of you. You're right! Men are different from women. I'll say it again. Men are different from women. No matter how white you keep his socks, and how unwrinkled his shirts are, if you do not have sex with him, it won't matter. Men understand action. They appreciate our efforts to keep their house, raise their children, etc. But, they only have three main focuses in their lives. To feed, shelter and have nooky. They are really like cavemen. It instinctual and there is nothing you can do about it.

Women have different needs than men. Look at your children. My son is happy when I give him what he wants to eat, have his clothes clean and leave him alone. My daughters want hugs and attention. They need to know and be reminded that they are loved. My son just knows. He doesn't need to be reminded.

Back to the grown ups. If we don't have sex with our husbands, significant others, they don't feel wanted. That's right ladies! They do have feelings. Women feel tired at night and to many women (not all of us) sex is not a priority. Let's face it. After a day with the kids or at work, we're tired. Sleep is what we want.

Today I want you all to really think about the last time you were intimate with your man. Do you notice a difference in his attitude toward you. If not, then pay attention. You'll see the difference. Those dishes not being done won't seem so important to him if he's been loved the night before. (or morning)

Here’s a scenario I want you to consider. It’s been a while since you fooled around. I’m saying a month or so. You feel like he’s distant. You don’t talk that much or hug that much. You feeling down about yourself because he hasn’t been noticing you. So, you practically sterilize the house because you clean it so well. You make sure the kids are all together and calm when he gets home. You make his favorite dinner. The kids are in bed early. That is awesome. Then, at bedtime, he gets in there are rubs you in his special way and you are asleep. Ladies, everything you did that day has just fell out of his brain forever!!!!!!

Now, consider this scenario. Same feelings as before, same situation. But you don’t clean the house that day as well. The kids are lunatics as usual and you have him bring home pizza for dinner. At bedtime, when he turns to rub you in his special way, you’re bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to go. SHAZAAM!!!!!!! You’ve finally figured it out.
Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women"

Who do you surround yourself with?

2006-07-20T06:33:00.000-04:00

Every morning I wake up, get the kids what they need, have a cup of coffee and make my phone call. I can't impress upon you how important it is to be in contact, every day, with someone who you can talk to. Whether it be about your children, spouse, work, problems, or just to talk about the weather. You need positive people in your life.

I know we all have people in our lives. Are they healthy? Do they hold you up when you are down? Do they listen when you just need to talk? If you're thinking that your spouse is that one and only person than you are probably placing too much dependence on them.

If the person you speak to is someone that, when you hang up, you feel worse than you did before, than they are "toxic". I say toxic because many of us have a difficult time being in honest relationship with others. That means that we are so used to being talked at rather than talked to that we just keep this relationship going. Why do we do that? When you finally find your "power" these toxic relationships will cease to exist. Once you begin to truly love yourself you won't subject yourself to this negative energy. You'll begin to surround yourself with people that build you up. We do need each other. If you're one of those people who say you don't need anyone, you're fooling yourself. We all need someone we can count on.

Make one call today to someone you trust. Be honest and listen to what they have to say. When you become honest you will unlock a freedom within yourself. Remember, noone can love you until you honesly love yourself.

The key is to surround yourself with positive women. Now I know that everyone in your “secret circle” are not always positive, but that is the beauty of having a network of women. Not just one “best friend” to confide in and get support from. I call it the “secret circle” because this group of women do not have to know each other, be friends with each other or even have anything in common. In fact, it is better if the latter is the case. Then, you never have to be concerned with anyone “talking” about what you are saying. The other aspect of the network is unconditional support. When two people have a foundation of support in which they are always on the same page, the support is unconditional. You are there for each other without the ties of outside issues or other individuals.
Excerpt from "What a Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women"

Listen Up!!!!

2006-07-19T07:12:00.000-04:00

How many of you have conversations every day? Do you find that at the end of that conversation, you feel drained? Was it like a battle of the stories, talking over each other, trying to get a word in? Sometimes, I find myself talking so much that my head is spinning. I might as well make a tape recording of my voice and play it over and over and over.

The point I am trying to make is that listening is so important. With all of the conversations I have in a day, it’s difficult to measure how much I’ve actually listened. What a disservice it is to those I am talking to. In my experience, I have learned that if I stop and actually listen to people, I am a much better communicator. I hear things that are important and that I can use to get through my day, or a problem I am having.

I find that when I actively listen, I mean really listen to those I am speaking with, I am building an honest and trusting relationship. I can know that I have given those I am in relationship with the respect that they deserve to actually want to know what they have to say.

Try not to talk so much today. Try to listen to what people are saying to you. Be it your spouse, children, parent, etc. You’ll find that you’ve been missing out. Put your problems aside and listen. It will give you gratitude for your life. You’ll be empowered. I promise!

Becoming a more effective and active listener is even harder then the latter. It is somuch easier to counsel than to be counseled. To react than to resist. To judge rather than be judged. Listening is a gift. To listen effectively in an honest relationship is the best gift we can give to each other. As children, we are constantly looking for attention. We are “attention addicts.” Any way I could get attention was the way for me. For example, when a child is listening to a story being read, how many times do they raise their hands to explain what is going on and how it relates to their lives. Rather than listening to the story, they feel the need to tell the reader every experience they’ve had that is similar to the story. I see this in adults all
the time.
Pay attention the next time you are on the telephone with a loved one or friend. Are you really listening to what they are saying or are you thinking of every way it relates to you. If we can take a little bit of everything we hear from others and put it to work in our lives, we are able to open our minds to other ideas. There are many opportunities that present themselves to us on a daily basis. I believe that the answers to all of my questions come through people. Many times, the answers come from people I would least expect to have the answers. One needs to be able to interpret and understand the message in the “here and now” without allowing preconceived notions to filter and distort the intentions of the person you are communicating with.
Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women"

Focus on the small stuff!

2006-07-18T11:16:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I get so caught up in the big stuff. The bills, the house, world peace, etc. I find that I ignore the little things that make my and my family's life comfortable. I step over the laundry, ignore the dust on the floor, throw the covers on the bed. I don't realize how important the little things are like sitting on the couch with the kids or just sitting outside with them while they splash in the pool. It's an awful thing to wake up at 6:00AM, start focusing on some nonsense, and realize at 5:00PM that the whole day went by and you didn't do anything to make your life better all day.

We have to sometimes look at small picture and sit with it for a while to be grateful for what we have right now.

Did you ever notice that when you want to get someone’s attention, be it your spouse, child, employer, etc., they usually don’t pay attention. One of the problems I find being a woman is that I tend to seek approval. Therefore, whatever and whenever I say something or tell someone something I’ve accomplished, I am fishing. We all know what fishing is. It’s when we say things out loud hoping for a pat on the back. The day that I didn’t have to “fish” anymore was like liberation. To be able to accomplish personal goals or overcome internal and/or external obastacles and not have to tell everyone about it is totally awesome. This is a quiet satisfaction. At first, I was a little anxious. It’s almost like a drug. That reaction from others. It’s like a fix. When you don’t get it, you don’t know what to do with yourself. We’re all really like children. When we don’t get positive reinforcement we start doing things to get any attention. Why bother doing things that are really cool and not be able to tell anyone. I’ll tell you why, because on the day that you can truly be content with yourself and your accomplishments and not have to get reinforcement from others is the day you are free and have found humility.

Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women"

Wake up and Smell the Possibilities!

2006-07-17T07:39:00.000-04:00

Everyday I wake up with a lot of different emotions. I roll out of bed, the kids are usually still sleeping (which is a good thing) and I sit for a few moments and think. (meditate)
This morning was no different. I was bombarded with the "need to do's" and "I have to's" and "I can't believe's". All these little phrases that pop in my head lead me to a negative space. I start my day thinking of all the things I haven't achieved yet.

This is where my book comes in. What can I do to start over in an instant. Meditation is one, but sometimes that just takes the edge off. Another tool I use is a very simple one. Everyone has the power within themselves but they don't tap into it. I just visualize myself putting all of those "problems" in a bubble and letting them float away. Then, I visualize myself doing all the things that seem unattainable at this point in my life. It's very similar to the slogan "fake it till you make it". Many of us know where that came from. It works. Try it.

I want to focus this morning on something that I have been feeling lately. I have been on a roller coaster ride in life for a long time now. At first, I struggled with these events. I always think of Forrest Gump when he said, "Life is like a box of chocotales, you never know what you're gonna get." Trying to control things is very toxic. So many things in life are beyond our control, yet we still try to control everything. We are like dogs chasing our tails ending with the same results. When I finally realized that most events in life are beyond my control, I tap into my power. I focus on the things that I can control like, my state of mind. Viewing life through rose colored glasses is fine as long as we take care of the things that need to be done.
Today I feel rosy!

My system is for anyone who wants to live a balanced and peaceful
life. You will learn how to live every day to the fullest through letting
go of everyday issues that cloud your life. You will be pleasantly
surprised to know that this system is so easy, it is almost laughable. As
you go through the process, you’ll wonder why you never thought of it
yourself. But, that is just it! We don’t think of these things on
our own. We need each other!!!!
L et me begin by saying that life does not have to be a struggle. As human beings, it is our nature to constantly second guess ourselves. Letting go of sadness, pain, self doubt, low self esteem and learning how to laugh at ourselves and have fun is the key to a positive and empowering life. Feelings of anger from childhood, resentment towards our parents, fear of intimacy and the “not good enough” syndrome lead us to misunderstand our current state of emotion.
Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women"

Today is a New Day!!!!

2006-07-14T07:14:00.000-04:00

Good morning everyone. It is 7:00AM, my children are still sleeping and I am reveling in the silence. In my book "What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide For Women" I talk about Meditating for Wisdom. People find it extremely difficult to meditate. One of the top reasons for this is that they cannot find the "quiet" time. As I explain in the book, meditation does not have to be in a beautiful setting, with birds singing and breezes blowing, yada, yada, yada. You have to take any opportunity you have to sit back, clear your mind and just listen. Visualize what you want in life and be grateful for what you already have. It is a wonderful, uplifting feeling and it can change your day in an instant. Try it, you'll feel the change.

It was brought to my attention yesterday that although my book is geared toward women, that there are many men who could also benefit from the book since they are also often isolated and alone, raising families, etc. I don't want to ignore those men in this universe who feel the way I and many women do. My book can benefit anyone who would like to change their lives from negativity and sometimes despair, to living in the path of love and light. Take the path and you will clearly find your way and begin to love yourself as we all should.

For those of you who are so jammed up that even laying still for a moment makes you nervous, you need this more that anyone. The time factor is another reason why many people cannot meditate. I look at meditation as just a time to sit still and clear up. When I think of a free thinking moment, or non-thinking moment, I think of driving. A good percent of the
time we are sitting at traffic lights, waiting for school buses, sitting in children’s bedrooms with an aversion to sleep, taking showers or baths (if we’re lucky) etc. The list goes on. There are many different things we can do to “meditate.” Just taking the time out to relax. By relax, I
mean sit still! I know that sitting still for me used to immediately prompt my body to go into sleep mode. If I sat for more than 5 minutes throughout my hectic day, I felt like sleeping. But as with any habit, once your body becomes accustomed to relaxing at one or more points during the day, you will be able to do so and come out feeling rested and ready to continue your daily tasks. Now I know you’re all thinking, “She’s crazy. When am I gonna do that?” Just remember that I’ve been where you are and I know how you feel. All I know is that when I’m calmer, everybody else around me seems calmer.
Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day
Makes: A Survival Guide For Women"

Let's start working!

2006-07-13T07:32:00.000-04:00

I am learning more and more every day about this blogging thing. Yesterday I posted my first blog. It was exciting to see my book up on the page. I hope that some of you will read these postings and find them helpful. When I first started writing the book, I had a completely different idea. It started as a pamphlet. I wanted to start a seminar for women and needed something to describe my ideas and the principles I lay out in the book.

Once I started writing I couldn't stop and presto, a book was born.

I am very excited about the book because I am a mother of three small children and often feel isolated and alone. I started to use the principles slowly and over time and realized that if they work for me then they would work for all women, mothers or not, who have these same feelings.

So, I decided to post a little excerpt from my new book every day in this blog. Maybe it will inspire some other women (and men) to begin living in their power.
That is my goal. I just want people to read the book, I think it can help.

Here we go!!!

When you open yourself up to other women and a
Circle of Sisterhood, a new world presents itself.
Would you like to be emotionally happy?
Would you like to be emotionally happy as soon as
possible?

Well then hold on to your boot straps, because you are about
to go on the ride of your life. If you remain open and willing to do what it takes, then you are on your way to a life free from emotional detention. A life beyond your wildest dreams.
My life has taken me down different paths. The system I an introducing in this book is a cultivation of all of my experiences.
These tools are what I use and have used on a daily basis throughout my life and stuggles. These tools have enabled me to live a life beyond my wildest dreams. I know that if you follow these principles and put them into motion in your own life, that you can and will reep the same emotional rewards that I have. I am sure that no matter where you are in your life, that this system can help you reach anything you set your mind to.

If you would like to purchase "What a Difference A Day Makes" please go to:

www.amazon.com or www.publishamerica.com.

My First Day Blogging

2006-07-12T17:35:00.000-04:00

Well, this is the first day I am blogging about my new book, "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women". I am so excited to have a book published because I am a mother of three small children and finally have a voice. I think that this book can really help women and mothers who are lost in their small world of motherdom.

I hope some of you will read this book and find that you all have the power within to be a beautiful, fullfilled woman.
Happy Reading!!!!!

My life has taken me down different paths. The system I am introducing in this book is a cultivation of all of my experiences. These tools are what I use and have used on a daily basis throughout my life and stuggles. These tools have enabled me to live a life beyond my wildest dreams. I know that if you follow these principles and put them into motion in your own life, that you can and will reep the same emotional rewards that I have. I am sure that no matter where you are in your life, that this system can help you reach anything you set your mind to.
Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide
for Women."
To purchase book go to www.amazon.com.